Why do they expend this admittedly silly effort? The guy terrifies them They look at the crowds he draws, they hear the thunderous applause he gets for speeches, they listen to his articulating messages of hope, and then they look at their bench: McCain, Giuliani, (Elizabeth) Dole, Romney, and they shudder. Who do they have that commands even a fraction of the attention Obama draws? Who do they have that offers even a shred of inspiration, other than to their tired, ignorant, racist, sexist, buffoonish base?

And that racist, sexist base is just one of the reasons why Condoleezza Rice, who might have been a capable candidate - certainly for upending Republican stereotypes, if nothing else - had she not thrown her hand in with the seemingly endlessly corrupt and incompetent Bush league, can not dare to dream of her party's nomination.

No, the sick, doddering old elephant is petrified of the "skinny kid with a funny name". They see their (racist) base shrinking as more and more Americans realize that they have nothing to offer save more failures, of ideas, of rhetoric, and of practice. And they look at the graying of their "leaders" and compare it to the youthful energy of a Barack Obama and realize that their time is passing. Not soon enough, not fast enough, to be sure, for this midwestern liberal, but pass it will.

"Fact was, the President was named after his paternal grandfather, a fine and prominent American who served as President of the United States Golf Association..."

Care to work in a mention of Prescott Bush, that famous Hitler-loving member of the family?

Or how John Ellis Bush, the other brother, calls himself "Jeb" to make himself appear a little less of a prepster?

Face it, Yellow Elephant, you admire a crime family. If they were all permanently exiled offshore, from "Poppy" and "Babs" to the smallest of the great-(gack!)-grandchildren, it would do the United States, and indeed the entire rest of the world, with the singular exception of whatever isolated island was chosen, one enormous favor.

In all seriousness, why would any sane person care what either of these two thinks about literally anything?

Dennis Prager needs to be removed from the board straightaway. His very presence there undermines any credibility they might otherwise have.

Why does anyone give that shrieking lunatic any page space at all? She says nothing, although she tends to say it at obnoxious length.

Is she still under 42? Maybe if she had the courage to enlist and put her own skanky, shriveled self on the line for what she claims to believe I could take her seriously.

Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell deserve each other. Sadly, their "mutual derogation society" act is being played out in public, where we all get to endure at least part of it.

I said it in another letter earlier, I'll say it again: Why on earth does anyone care what either of these two repellent buffoons thinks about anything?

The House Republicans ought to have the right to speak, to put things forward, and to have them properly considered.

They need not have the right to a guarantee that what they put forward will be acted on, let alone passed.

They need not have the right to obstruct.

They need not have the right to disrupt.

They definitely do not warrant the right to slip anything resembling an "earmark" into any bill. (For that matter, neither do Democrats - earmarks need to go, and the sooner the better.)

Civility and propriety have their places, to be sure, but a little crow needs to be publicly consumed by the party of the elephant first.

McCain wants so desperately to be president that he has become the scary (batshit crazy?) contemporary version of Hubert Humphrey in 1968. Humphrey, for those readers challenged by their youth and inexperience, wanted so badly to be president that he was willing to mortgage his beliefs and take the Johnsonian line on Vietnam until it was too late in the game.

McCain wants it so badly he is trying - far too transparently, it must be said, with a sigh of relief - to be all things to all Republicans. That will remove the chance he may once have had to appeal to anyone else remains to be seen. And even his "all things to all Republicans" act may not play.

Actually, I look at the Republican field for 2008 and breathe easy - for now. McCain (flat out nuts), Giuliani (an "oppo research" man's dream candidate), Brownback (makes McCain look comparatively sane), Romney (can you say delusional flip-flopper?), Gingrich (standup comics all over America are praying you'll run, Newt!); who among this lot will possibly be able to appeal to a broad enough spectrum of voters? Especially if the Dems find their brains and nominate someone other than the near-guaranteed divisive disaster that will be Sen. Clinton, if she makes it that far.

Even if we discard Brownback as too far gone even for the presidency of Mars, Gingrich as the running joke he stands to be, and Romney as the flip-flopping misfit he demonstrably is, we have McCain and Giuliani. McCain, as I'd said above, is crazy, and I'm willing to bet that even the best efforts of the punditocracy won't be enough to overcome the inevitable meltdown once he's asked an inopportune question or two in a public forum. And Giuliani has the demeanor of a sour old crab, let alone a checkered - to be charitable - past that even a mediocre opposition researcher could tie around his neck like an anchor, even though his past marriage to a second cousin might garner him a few additional votes in some precincts in the South...