I cannot believe that I am the first in some 80+ messages to suggest that the LW's wife is being influenced by and responding to A Man with whom she is fraternizing in the country of her internship. She is hoping against hope that her "husband" will "let her go" into the Peace Corps by divorcing her. Or maybe he could come too (quirky, difficult, Who Knows What Would Happen) and things would, like, you know, resolve themselves. Eventually. With all kinds of drama and stuff.

Keritha

There is ONE (and only one) thing to try before the LW runs for her life. LITHIUM, often in smaller doses than usual for the treatment of bipolar disorder. The fact that the boyfriend does not blow up in other contexts is not proof that his problem is "only behavioral;" it may mean that his psychiatric problem interacts with the environment the way all psychiatric disorders do, especially early on (for example, intimacy brings out his fears/rage, etc).

If it doesn't work, or if he refuses to even consider it, THEN run like hell because, as so many other writers have suspected, he doesn't really believe, deep down, that there is anything wrong with him. There is something terribly wrong, but if he doesn't believe it, that is that.

Keritha

P.S. Sometimes an SSRI like Prozac can work wonders too.

I suspect that Tris might be (or have been) a heavy drinker. Many clues, as others have noted. Maybe she showed up on the doorstep drunk. That's about the only way to explain why, having been specifically invited to come to visit, she was not then invited inside the house. Maybe she was drunk when she talked to the bridesmaid at her friend's second wedding. Lack of insight, lack of tact, lack of introspection...all sounds familiar.

I live in Texas now and a Texas born-and-raised friend of mind told me what she learned at her mother's knee: "You can hate someone's guts, but there's no need to be rude about it."

I have never lived in a friendlier place, certainly including the upper midwest that is my native land. You cannot stand in any line here without someone starting up a conversation. It took some getting used to but now I too can call perfect strangers "honey."

From your mouth to God's ear, Kos. From your mouth to God's ear.

One, I suggest not falling into the trap of thinking something is "only" eight months or however long. An hour is a very long time if every single second you dislike what is happening. Eight months is a long time to be away from home actually.

Two, you could meditate on the words of C.S. Lewis in his book "The Four Loves." He says something like "If you don't want your heart to be broken, don't love anything, not even an animal....but while you are keeping your heart safe, it will turn to stone." Those are the choices: broken or stone. Also, Orwell said it is our fate to be beaten and broken by life -- if we are to live at all.