Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 74 Editor's Choice: 6
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I don't know about this law, but I know about "Spanking Defenders"
[Read the article: Spanking mad]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Spanking represents weak parenting. You can't take the button pushing. You don't know what to do to shut down, minimize, or prevent tantrums. YOU can't handle the pressure. You're the adult, act like it! Do you swat your co-worker or subordinate on the bottom or any other part when they exhibit behaviors far far more destructive to themselves and you, behaviors that they should know much better to do? Would it work if you did?
And why do people who normally are perfectly sane and rational always always always seem to rush to defend spanking first? The line is always "sure you don't want to spank, but..." or "sure, spanking is the last thing to do, but..." If it's so far down the list, why is it always the thing that needs defending first? Why the strong reaction to the thought of taking away the thing you "hate to do"?
Maybe anti-spaking bills would nudge us down the slippery slope to overreaction about our arm-grabs, our stern voice-raisings, our threats and our prodding, pushing, snapping anger. And maybe it would result in more horror stories about child seizures, which I actually agree sound terrifying. I also worry that child-protective services' efforts have to this poing been disproportionately aimed at non-White families. I believe that the statements in this letter forum are incorrect that Black people hit their kids more--that just sounds made up and derogatory. But White "child safety agents" of the state or whomever have demonstrated their past willingness to apply other statutes with a peculiar vigor to non-White families. The system would almost certainly apply this at the usual levels of systemic racism.
But maybe it or something like it would force the rest of us whiny, drag-ass oafs to do some creative parenting. I keep hearing it's hard work. Well? Cowboy up.
I was spanked as a child, and I got over it. Yes, hooray, an obvious reason you'd expect me to be against it (though the "getting over it" is one of the popular lines for defending the practice). But the thing is, it just didn't work. Spanking didn't modify my behaviors, it didn't teach me a lesson, it didn't do jack squat--and I've had it done with a hand, with a wooden spoon, and with a ruler. None of those things were effective at preventing me from doing something stupid or outrageous the next time.
I know I want to hit my kid sometimes. I know the sensation and understand the moment of savage madness, the profound anger when she refuses to listen, or with mindbending, painstakingly purposeful determination misbehaves. "Put that down. I said put that down! We do not put that in our mouth. Put it down!!" "Stop that. Stop jumping like that. Settle down. You need to settle down right now or you're going to fall and hurt yourself. It is late and it's time for bed. Lie down!!" Oh I just feel that spasm of contorting violent anger! I know right where it lives, I can summon it even now at my keyboard, the clenching, shivery growl of exhaustion right down there--over there by my last frayed nerve. She won't go to bed and she's just doing this on purpose to get my goat.
Suppose I hit her instead. Well, I gues then my goat was thoroughly got, wasn't it? Does anyone suppose those 45 minutes of apologies after the spanking would get her to bed sooner?
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yeowww
[Read the article: The "hoohaa" monologues]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Well, that's sure a stupid tempest in a teapot!
But, as a playwright myself--and a much much, ever so muchly much more minor playwright than Ms. Ensler at that--if a theater intentionally displayed the title of my play incorrectly and I found out about it, I'd revoke the performance rights.
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steadfastly keeping my drawers bunched, thank you
[Read the article: The "hoohaa" monologues]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The author and licensing agency are not so dumb that they didn't foresee objections
Responding to KateG,
I don't think it's dumb to suggest an author might disavow permission if they change the title. Not only that, I think this further establishes the validity of my point:
The authorized alternate title... is "The V Monologues,"
Good on the licensor for establishing a rule. Clearly "hoohah" is not the title, nor is it the authorized alternate title. This only bolsters my insistence that an author can and should exercise her rights early and often.