Letters to the Editor
dry-eyed
Published Letters: 10
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pity the defenseless
[Read the article: Oligarchical decay]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"As Matt Stoller recently noted in an excellent post on the bipartisan orthodoxies that are untouchable in political debates, "there are 1 million people put in jail for doing what Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and George Bush have done" (buying and consuming illegal drugs) and "2 million people are in prison in America, by far the highest total of any other country in the world." It's almost impossible for the non-rich to defend themselves effectively against government accusations of criminality, and judges have increasingly less sentencing discretion to avoid imposing harsh jail terms. Punishment for crimes is for the masses only, not for members in good standing of our political and corporate establishment."
This brings to mind a frontline show about kids who get life sentences. The United States has over 2,000 people in prison serving life sentences without chance of parole. They entered the system when they were teenagers, some for felony murder, not first degree murder. Those offenders were called the worst of the worst. All other countries combined have less than 20 such persons in their prison systems.
I would have no problem with an exchange program that involved releasing kid convicts and filling their cells with every person on Capitol Hill who has collaborated in the deaths of nearly 4,000 U.S. citizens engaged in the Iraq debacle and of countless thousands of Iraqi citizens, not to mention the crimes committed domestically in the name of national security. Now that would be a form of justice I could live with.
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airy article
[Read the article: John Edwards faces his day of reckoning]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]i was at the edwards meeting in iowa city yesterday. a recent edwards convert, i observe that edwards can pack more substance into a twenty minute stump speech than shapiro can into an edited article. too bad. very misleading. what's with the grammar? why i like edwards: he is less willing to compromise everything away; he believes you cannot "nice" corporate america; he will say the word "union"; he has a clue about how to work with a congress swimming in lobbyist money up to its neck; finally, edwards has figured out why he wants to run for president and what he wants.
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re your self-check
[Read the article: I'm a suburban husband in my 40s and I think I'm getting depressed]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]dear cary,
i'm so glad you wrote the self-check thing. i've often wondered how you feel about some of your mail...the hateful stuff. i hope your 80+ letters so far are providing lots of affirmation about your work. you should know that your column provides a valuable service.
as an aa, i feel fortunate to have those rooms where i can walk in and feel instantly connected even if i've never met a single person in the room. there, amazingly, we can all talk about just about anything, even our deepest fears. even our deepest joys. that's big for us as addicts. but, in this society, it's big for everyone. my close non-aa friends frequently tell me they wish they had a reason to be in aa just to have the fellowship.
frequently, i respond by saying, "well, read cary tennis."
re the hateful stuff, we know that some people just cannot handle the real. the real emotion, feeling, fear, happiness, connection. so they don't get it. but one wishes that some day they will.
i guess you're a nice guy. a decent guy. you have good writing skills. you landed a good gig. but, most importantly, each day your column appears you are providing a service to your fellows. and, as we know, service is at the center of keeping a settled mind. when we serve we are freed from the slavish devotion to self. we benefit. you benefit. and when you stay well, you help us stay well.
thank you and happy new year.
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to anonymous
[Read the article: I'm a suburban husband in my 40s and I think I'm getting depressed]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]i rest my case.
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pass off
[Read the article: My partner is being stalked by a trolling MILF]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm with Cary. My version goes something like...tell your partner that his psycho colleague is pushing your boundaries and ask him what he plans to do about it. To engage her, in my opinion, only serves to create drama. We don't need more drama in the world.
Good luck with that.
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been there
[Read the article: How does a single father ever get laid?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I (ardent feminist) have raised and launched my children into the world. It is hard work and requires a degree of selflessness. No amount of praise compensates for sleep deprivation, exhaustion from decision-making, and solo chauffering. I would have killed for a nanny. But even with that I can only imagine it is still a difficult job. Difficult whether the single parent is a mom or a dad.
A question surfaced while reading this piece: given the mental and physical exhaustion, who has the energy for sex? Just wondering. With another year of sleep, self-care, and mind-clearing activities, I might be there. In the meantime, sleep, self-care, and mind-clearing activities feel really good.
Do not give the ex opportunity to abuse you. Don't you feel shitty enough as it is? Forget the 24-year-old child (yes, child).
And don't give up on the hairstyling role. That was great. There are many moments like that ahead of you. And then they're gone. And then they're back. Now my daughter, being sincerely appreciative of my years of solo parenting, fixes my hair...determined to bring me up to speed. Just yesterday she introduced me to a new hairstylist, a culmination of her efforts to jettison my stylist of ten years. And she was totally right. I have really been a rut with the hair as it turns out.
Good luck. Don't despair. Sex will be there for you whenever. No one died without it. And do you really want a string of transients traipsing in and out of your kids' lives? I didn't and have not regretted it for one minute.