Letters to the Editor
MacK..
Published Letters: 491 Editor's Choice: 49
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You live too well
[Read the article: My son is almost 30 and won't leave home]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]An adult's first home, or at least the first one they pay for themselves, is usually pretty crappy -- mine was, admittedly in law school and as a struggling young lawyer, with the emphasis on struggling.
Later, I found myself in Japan with a 3 bedroom house, and my father in a moment of idiocy gave an old family friend whose son and buddy were coming to Japan my phone number -- I ended up with two dirty, expensive house guests, who the first month chipped in about 1/3 of the cost of running the house for one month -- and then nothing else -- it seems that usual Gaijin housing was unappealing. The damage they did cost me a fortune in payments to the landlord.
My point is that while the cost of living in LA may be high -- you are contributing to the situation by renting a home that is bigger than you need -- you singular -- an adult with no legal dependents (and since your son is 30, it would seem unlikely to add any.)
Now I have my own view of your son -- he sounds like a selfish jerk to be honest -- two groups of room-mates kicked him out! He balls you out about money while leaching off you! But realistically, for him, staying at home is just a better option. There is an extra room, maybe more than one -- he has his own space, all mod-cons, a dishwasher I assume, big fridge, a non-communal washer/dryer, probably a parking space -- and for all of this he does not pay a thin dime. And even if you did not rent -- say you owned this -- we don't know, large apartment, condo, house, the expenses of running the place would be close to his share of the rent in a group house or efficiency.
But you rent, and you are not getting younger, and you need to save -- for a woman old enough to have a 30 year old son, renting is generally bad -- BUT it is good in one context, it gives you options -- like easy moving without selling the house in a down market. Seems to me that you need to downsize your lifestyle to a nice one-bedroom apartment or small cottage -- and don't buy a sofa bed. Maybe you can buy -- but assuming you are at least 50, you will have trouble getting a big mortgage, so perhaps what you can afford is a 1-bed as I described.
My point though is that you are in reality living a wasteful and unduly expensive lifestyle for someone in your life situation, with more space than you need, and that lifestyle enables your son's lifestyle, by having the extra space. Downsizing makes continuing to live with you a non-option, there will not be the space -- he will have to move out. More to the point, it is what you should be doing financially anyway, so why not.
Go find a certified financial planner (CFA) and discuss retirement planning. Work out how much money you need to save monthly out of your salary -- downsize your home to what matches the remaining money; if needs be show the son the numbers. Find the new place, give notice to quit to your landlord (I assume son is not on the lease), and tell him the move-out date. If you have to give is 1st and last rent.
More to the point, even a crappy first apartment he pays for himself is better than sleeping on the floor in your 1-bed, with nowhere to store what I suspect is his considerable pile of stuff. The crappy alternative of being self-sufficient has to be better than staying at home with mom, or he will never move out.
And by the way, in most instances where I see this, that is usually the case -- parents' homes, lavished with 2-3 extra decades of capital are nicer, more comfortable. When I fist got my own place I was shocked at the expense, not just the rent, but things I never considered, pedal bins for crying out loud, who know they cost $30 and up, an iron and ironing board, dishes, dishwasher detergent, a bed, a mattress, a sofa or two. OK I moved countries 3-4 times which is expensive (as is having homes in two), but still, all that little shit adds up, I have added it up a few times now.
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A fundamentally stupid article
[Read the article: So long, white boy]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And I do hope the Democratic leadership ignores Schaller. This is th sort of logic that gets people into Iraq -- and is refutable in a similar way.
1. White males are the single largest 'group' of voters in the US electorate- at least 30% of the voters and possible 37-38% in a large turnout.
2. Lose enough of that electorate and you are "screwed" because every other group, with the exception of white women, gets you less than 10% of the electorate.
3. As a group white women do not absolutely match the voting characteristics of their male partners -- but they do track pretty closely -- so anything that loses you a large chunk of white men will lose you only a slightly smaller chunk of white women.
4. Thus collectively white males and white females, if they voted as a block would hand the electorate to the other side.
5. Schaller wants to piss them off as a block -- whatever odd locutions he comes up to avoid saying so.
6. The idea is suicidal and stupid, and effort to appear intellectually deep by being -- well dumb. I suppose this is what I mean by hidden shallows. . .
How desperate are the Salon editors for content?