Dear Cary,

I'm too shallow and self absorbed to waste my time on finding out who another person really is. I prefer instant gratification to any actual work that may be involved in building a real, live relationship with another human being. If I don't feel an instant spark on the first date, that's it. I'm done.

I am really very busy with many important things and have no time to fritter away attempting to ascertain whether someone is genuinely decent, has more moral fiber than a garden snail or even possesses a scintilla of wit or humor.

Hard as it may be to believe, I'm divorced.

If I can be always sparkling and stunningly "on" in a first date situation, why can't anyone else be?

Sign me,

Clueless and Alone

I don't envy Her Imperial Majesty. Fail to respond and be labeled a punching bag. Counterattack and you risk, as with her present diatribe, coming off as both obnoxious and shrill.

After reading a large number of letters to Joan complaining about this strip, I finally steeled myself enough to actually read it. I have seen it twice and, frankly, that's twice too often.

I feel like I'm reading-- yes, given the over-lengthy narrations, reading-- a bad modern day knock-off of Terry and the Pirates, only with really atrocious artwork.

There's literally nothing redeeming about this horrible feature. Quite simply, it sucks with a very looooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg straw.

Can't you guys run This Modern Life twice a week? Hell, even Mark Trail would be better than this piece of dreck.

Just what this country needs- a plethora of rootless wage-slaves.

That should turn the economy around alright! Right back to the 19th Century when robber barons were, well, robbers; you know, The Good Old Days, when consumers were unprotected, when unions were nonexistent, graft was accepted with a nod and a wink and the public be damned!

Hmm. Come to think of it, we're practically there already.

The Post's definition of journalism encompasses passing along unrefuted untruths without identifying them as such?

Wonder how they define the words propaganda, shill or dupe...

Dear Cary:

I'm overly tattooed, ridiculously pierced, and unemployed. I love to wear the most "out there" costumes, usually consisting of a ratty t-shirt and dark jeans, to set myself apart (aren't I the "wild" trendsetter?). I do virtually nothing productive but hang around in coffee shops deep into the night, looking down my nose at "normals." You know, the kind of folk who work actual jobs, raise families, make something of themselves and who are perfect marks for my panhandling ways.

I, in short, am an existential artist.

Sometimes though, in my deepest "existential" maunderings, I wonder if I'll ever fit in with "normals" and why I can't seem to do so.

Cary, short of becoming a lot less self-absorbed and getting a steady job, is there any hope for me? Or will I continue to be just too avant garde for the room?

Signed

Just Like Van Gogh, But Without All That Messy Talent

of my disdain for Her Imperial Majesty or my reservations about the other candidates currently seeking the Democratic nomination. But whoever would have the balls to actually do this-- to take this stand and mean it, regardless of what I fear is an all too preordained outcome-- would get my vote in a heartbeat.

That's a kind of political courage sorely lacking in this country today.

And please spare me the inevitable spinmeister claptrap about Mr. or Ms. Candidate feeling his/her time would be better expended "helping the troops" by getting him/her elected. That dog stopped hunting some time ago.

For god's sake, don't criticize Her Imperial Majesty. After all, she's a "grown-up" (whatever THAT means) even if she's "not ideologically pure" (as cheerily euphemistic a way to say "hypocrite" as I've ever seen). Please, just drink the Kool Aid.

Don't call attention to her foolish-- or worse, calculated-- mistakes. Pay no attention to her wrongheaded, dangerous ways. She's Hillary and that should be enough.

At least, enough for those determined to maintain the Democratic Party of the 21st Century in it's second rate, rudderless status.

At least, among Republicans. They're united in agreement that they can't stand her.

As for us Dems, well, you don't need to be Jean Paul Sartre to read the handwriting on this wall. Or on this thread, for that matter.

If you want another 4 years of Republican presidency, if you want more of the same type of leadership that has brought our party to it's present sad and shabby state, if you truly want to place faith once again in a leader who reeks of coldblooded calculation and cynical manipulation, then for Heaven's sake just vote Republican from the get-go.

But spare the rest of us this bleating "she's almost a Democrat" claptrap. She's Cheney in a pantsuit. Take the blinders off.

I'd expect a full investigation by Congress.

Under the current spineless Democratic Congressional regime, I expect we'll see-- following the de rigeur blustering and meaningless wind, of course-- legislation declaring everything just fine after the fact.

Oh yeah, and with full amnesty to anyone who did something that wasn't fully fine.

Then they'll declare victory and move on to surrendering somewhere else.

I'm faced with choosing between the party of the warmongering, lawless corporatocracy or a party of self-defeating, latter day Neville Chamberlains.

The only question remaining in my mind is how next will my party shoot itself in the foot. That, and how come they never seem to run short of feet or of ammunition...

The road to the coronation gets a tad rocky and Her Imperial Majesty sheds a few crocodile tears (for herself, naturally). Big effing deal.

Can we talk about the issues now? You know, Iraq, Iran, the corrupting influence of special interest monies, the foundering economy, the crushing burden of healthcare, the disappearing middle class.

Maybe we can squeeze a few moments in before the next manufactured sound byte makes Joan's lower lip tremble anew.