Comes in the opening sketch. Sarah Palin's first line is, "Yeah, I didn't think it was a realistic depiction of how my press conferences - WOULD HAVE -gone.

That was an amazing thing for SNL to write, or for her to say, or both. It brings up such an obvious glaring point. Why are there no press conferences. She's running for the second highest office in the land. Why are there no freakin' press conferences? As she admits with that line, all we have is wild conjecture. We are supposed to imagine what a Palin press conference would be like, and we better damn well not mock her as we build our conjecture based on what little we can glean from her few forays into pressland.

But, of course, if her candidacy was really legitimate, we wouldn't have to be dealing in conjecture at all. We would have seen her in action; we would have a genuine idea of her approach to problem solving, whether she sees layers of complexity in the proposals she makes, whether she has any leadership potential. Instead, really, we know absolutely nothing about her; we only have people like Elephantman and Readerreader popping up here on Salon to assure us, with the full measure of their credibility, that Palin is peachy keen, and to doubt otherwise is just more blind hatred from the liberal left.

The idea that Republicans are comfortable putting Sarah Palin a step away from the presidency without ever seeing her handle something like an ordinary press conference is stunning. It's like "We don't know, and we don't want to know, because we already know all we need to know."

My Friend, I think you're wrong in your claim that Senator McCain, doesn't use the exact same rhetorical tricks, my friend, as Barack Hussein Obama. What you don't understand, my friend, is that all politicians employ persuasive language to get their point across. I want to tell you about someone named Joe the Plumber, my friend. When he goes out on a house call -- just another decent, hard-working American trying to pursue the American Dream -- he uses rhetoric as well when he tries to sell clients on his services. What you don't understand, my friend, is that Joe the Plumber, my friend, is a real American, and if rhetoric is good enough for him, it ought to be good enough for you, my friend.

Once Palin entered the picture there was nothing left to decide. She simply can't be placed in line for the White House.

It's like, "Dear, now that the baby is starting to crawl, I think we should stop leaving all these loaded weapons lying around the house within easy reach of the baby."

"Hmm. Well I'd like to deliberate that a little more."

There's nothing left to deliberate!

It seems simple to me. If they threaten to filibuster, don't just concede. MAKE them filibuster. Every. Single. Time. The minority party does not get to control the agenda. They've already been doing that for far too long.

Once again proving that in journalism, the key to finding steady, consistent, long-term employment is to absolutely, totally, suck at your job. Even achieving a level of mediocrity is too much. If you want to get ahead, you have got to suck with every fiber of your being; you must make it your total mission in life to get everything wrong, 100 percent of the time.

There is no possible way that McCain can pull out a victory now. Therefore, if he wins then we'll know that something is rotten in the state of Denmark. And by Denmark, I mean America. All "real" "pro-America" patriotic Americans should stay right here and vow to make McCain's life a living hell through massive acts of civil disobedience. Come next April 15, not a single tax return filed; shut down Army recruitment centers, quit feeding the war machine with fresh blood; bring the machinery of government to a halt anyway possible. This is OUR country. Fight for it, dammit! Don't just go running off to some imagined paradise somewhere else. Abandoning this country to be run by the fascist assholes will only ensure that the morons left behind will increase their militaristic ways, their corporate expansion. No matter where you run, America will, sooner or later, be coming after whatever wealth is is to be found in your supposed refuge. Make your stand right here. Stop them right here.

What an incredibly lame, sick and twisted excuse that is. They are completely tone-deaf; such things emerge from their mouth and they don't have a clue how awful it sounds. It's like going up to someone in a person in a wheelchair and saying something like, "Must be nice, not having to walk all day."

Me? Well, winter is coming and I'm dragging out some of my warmer clothes and seeing how I've been wearing some of them several years, and some of them, like a couple of my beloved flannel shirts (so soft and warm and comfy when new) are now kind of thin and flimsy looking. And I think it sure would be nice to get some new ones, wouldn't it? Oh yes, it would; I can practically feel them now. But gas is expensive, food is getting expensive, and after all, winter's only a few months. Should I really spend money on new shirts? Can't I just ride it out for a few months? Maybe next year I can justify the expense. If the shirts were made in America, at least I could feel that the expense of the shirts is helping the economy by putting Americans to work, but I can't tell myself that. Every shirt I look at says "Made Somewhere Else" on the label.

Hmmm. Well, anyway, it's another day on the campaign trail. I wonder who Sarah Palin will be wearing today as she stands before yet another crowd of hapless morons who fervently believe, with every fiber of their being, that she's one of them.