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Tideswimmer

Published Letters: 719
Editor's Choice: 49

Sunday, January 29, 2006 11:45 PM

Ann, what a snore

The thing I don't understand about Coulter is that she's just so boring. Oh my God, she's so utterly irrelevant. She is vapid, she is vapor. Has she yet to make a point? About anything? She opens her mouth, and these little bloop bloop bloop noises come out, utterly wasting precious oxygen, and some idiot college group gives her a vastly hefty bloop bloop noise making fee. It's so completely insane, no wonder it drives people crazy.

Think about it: People, good Americans all over this country, have to work hard for a living, but are forced to deal with an economy that continually downsizes, outsources, marginalizes and insults them as they struggle to wrench a few measly dollars from a corporatocracy hell-bent on making sure that not one single penny more than necessary escapes from their vile clutches.

Meanwhile, here's our little Ann, traveling the country going bloop bloop bloop and raking in the big bucks for uttering the same crap we could hear from any blubbering barfly in the local tavern for free. Why, we ask ourselves, do we have to work so hard for less and less? Why is there no money for raises, or pension funds or health care when we go to ask for it come performance review time, but there are bucks galore available for Ann and her demented cackling?

Believing, perhaps rightly, that hell is real and here on Earth now, we become furious. We want to lash out, to get some payback. But, as other people have pointed out, we only end up falling into her stupid little gravity well of inanity. There's no reasoned response possible to a bloop bloop noise, and if she ever comes to your town, the best response is to just stay home. Don't go thinking you're going to take her down in the Q&A session. You will only help feed her illusion of legitimacy; you will only pump air into her sad, empty hollowness, utterly wasting even more precious oxygen.

So just stay home, let her go bloop bloop to the zombie hordes until she finally deflates of her own accord. And if you still want some payback consider this: When she's finally played out and returned to her natural state of irrelevancy, she will finally have to deal with the utter horror and desolation of being Ann Coulter. Almost makes you sort of feel sorry for her a bit, doesn't it?

Thursday, February 2, 2006 12:57 PM
Original article: Lucan or Luanne?

O muh Gawd

That's annoying. She's having a vowel movement all over the place.

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 02:01 AM
Original article: "The greatest gift"

Please! Please!! Fix this!!

Evolution is proved with this posting. Click on it and you'll see a missing link.

Saturday, February 11, 2006 03:17 PM
Original article: This workout's a bitch

Totally Awesome!

I can already hear the voice of Jon Stewart: "That's it for our show, and now here's your moment of Zen.

This video is brilliant.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 09:05 AM

Target Fixation

Everything became blurry, pretty much the same way the only thing the administration saw after (and I think before) 9/11 was Iraq.

Or maybe the bird might have been a specially trained nuclear bomb dropping bird. That scenario is unlikely, of course, but it's best in these cases not to just sit back and have the answer come in the form of a mushroom cloud.

Friday, February 24, 2006 02:30 AM
Original article: Hoop dream

Ummmm, no.

It's a cute trick, but no. Good old forced perspective and someone yanking a fishline at the almost right time.

Friday, February 24, 2006 02:51 AM
Original article: Dark-sided!

Sweet Jumpin' Jesus

Her children. When I think of her children having to grow up with that. The idea that anytime they open a book, or study, or learn anything other than the thin wedge of knowledge allowed to them; when I think of how she must terrorize them for showing any signs of natural curiousity; when I think of living in Margaret's little sliver of light world, all else being darksided...

Watching this video just filled me with despair for her children. I hope they can survive this nightmare childhood. I hope they will not grow from lost, terrorized children into the lost terrorized adult that Margaret has become.

Such an existence: horrible. Horrible.

Monday, February 27, 2006 07:31 PM
Original article: Pushing the envelope

Some good choices here

Stephanie has made some good suggestions here. I, too, was hoping that Mickey Rourke's turn as might somehow get nominated for Best Supporting Actor. (For that matter, "Sin City," itself was ridiculously overlooked. From the opening gambit to closing it was surely the freshest and most original film of the year, even if it was also throughly violent, corrupt and disgustingly sick - not that there's anything wrong with that!)

In the same category, one of the most heart-wrenching moments that I experienced at the movies last year was in "North Country" when Richard Jenkins, as Charlize Theron's father, finally stands up for her at the union meeting. I could almost literally see him move whole glaciers of stoicism out of the way in order to do so; and when he expresses his disgust at the language he's seen and heard used, it is so genuine and true that I felt kind of ashamed for what would normally be my mocking condescension of someone who gets all outraged over a few fucking words.

Also, Naomi Watts was, indeed, superb as Ann Darrow. Throughout the film, there were scenes between her and Kong in which there are some remarkably subtle things going on between them as their relationship changes. A look here, a shift of body language there, but remember: she's playing almost all of it against a special effects stand in!

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 12:34 PM
Original article: A true title sequence

What have I done with my life?

The terrifying thing to me was that as the titles flashed by, the words "seen it" flashed through my mind in almost the same tempo as the music.

I also missed a few titles, but only a frame by frame study of the film would reveal if they are there or not.

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