The problem with this plan is that AOL already purports to do this type of monitoring and to ensure that spam e-mail doesn't make its way to AOL users. AOL already charges its users very high rates compared to other ISPs, and now they want to profit from *companies I already have a relationship with* just for trying to send me e-mail that AOL's "leading" spam technology (which they tout in so many expensive TV ads) should supposedly be letting get through to me already?

I am a long-dissatisfied AOL user who is just too lax to switch to another ISP, and this seems like a desperate measure from a desperate company with very few, if any, competitive advantages other than an artificial sense of being walled-off from the "real" internet. I'm ready to dump AOL once and for all.

.. and that was a great f*ing article. Thank you for capturing your ultimate Madonna experience so eloquently. I, too, grew up with Madonna never far from my conscience or my radio, but I still haven't seen her in concert. Maybe I was afraid that she wouldn't live up to my lofty ideals of a Madonna concert; but after reading this, I am just mad at myself for not buying tickets!

I saw this film at a screening in L.A. followed by a Q&A with director Shainberg, and was really put off by the insulting and derogatory comments made to Shainberg by Arbus' so-called supporters. I thought this was an extremely lovingly-made film that painted Arbus and her subjects in nothing but the most sympathetic light. It was not intended to be a literal adaptation of her life (what part of "imaginary" did these people not get?) but rather an ethereal dream sequence of what her inner world may have been like as she transitioned from bored housewife to photographer and admirer/voyeur of the outcasts of our society. I also find these fans' superficial perceptions of Arbus as such a put-together and self-possessed woman to be completely at odds with the reality of her psychology, which is that she was obsessed with the fringes of society and ultimately committed suicide. While Kidman's (wonderful) performance may not have reflected the true outward personality of Arbus, I felt like it was a totally credible interpretation of what her troubled, searching inner world may have been like. Also, in response to some of Stephanie Zacharek's more obnoxious critics, I think it's shocking how intolerant Arbus' avid fans are of any sort of discussion or debate about her work. I do not think it's a foregone conclusion that there is not some amount of detachment and coldness in these photographs. While the larger story of the work within the context of Arbus' life suggests a compassion for her subjects, the reality of the work itself has always been controversial.

A dear new friend of mine is a hairdresser. Several of my other friends have left their hairdressers to go to him. I have resisted. My new friend is cheaper than my current, much-loved hairdresser, by a lot. And I think he's talented. But I've resisted because I didn't want to harm our relationship if his cut-and-color was not up to snuff. This letter just re-affirms my decision. My hair is just too personal to allow any close friend free reign at it. Thank you, LW, thank you, Cary, for affirming my decision.

I am relieved and slightly thrilled to see this article. I was introduced to "The Secret" by an ex-friend of mine... an uneducated, unemployed yet highly engaging and charismatic 42-year-old single "polyamorous" mother who leeches off some poor sap of a man while she drinks excessively and has sex with people she barely knows. Basically, she's kind of a loser. But a charming, dynamic loser. She kept trying to organize viewing parties to watch the DVD, which I continually managed to dodge. So, when I saw Oprah hawking this piece of garbage I was absolutely stunned. It was shocking to me that she paraded that array of self-help gurus as living proof that "The Secret" can help people be successful. What I saw was a group of people who made their money by claiming they could teach other people how to make money... a classic pyramid scheme. It felt cultish and frightening, and I'd be willing to bet a LOT of my own money that some really nasty dirt could be dug up on any number of those so-called gurus that would knock the shine right off of them. When Oprah did a follow-up show about a week later, I felt sure that she would do right by me, and come to her senses. I figured the outcry from her more sensible fans would cause her to re-think her slavish devotion to this "philosophy" and she would address complaints and criticisms. But, it was not to be. Instead, she featured more shallow, incomplete stories of people whose lives were suddenly perfected by "The Secret" with no more effort than waking up in the morning with a forced smile and basically willing things into existence. I didn't believe the stories those people told, and now I seriously wonder about the integrity of Oprah's internal world. She seems to be constantly grasping and reaching for the Next Big Thing that will justify her existence, her fame and her impact on our culture. I truly, fully believe that she means well. But she's trying to bottle her own success and fame into a formula that she can sell to her followers, perhaps to relieve the guilt she feels from knowing the universe has handed her much more than it gives most people, at least externally. Now, as far as her spiritual well-being goes, I'm thinking hers is not quite as rosy as the portrait she paints.