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Aaron Bonn

Published Letters: 388
Editor's Choice: 14

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 12:30 PM

To those cyberbullies who have shown up to trash this writer....

Did you not see the level of self loathing evident in the letter itself? Do you really think you are saying something to the letter writer that he needs to hear? Do you really think that what you are saying is something that he hasn't been thinking about himself for years now?

Aspergers Syndrome, whether you call it a mental disorder or just a personality type, is a real, existing condition, and it makes life harder for those to whom it applies. Most people in the world are extroverts, and they have created a world in their own extroverted image. Apparently, some of them don't seem to understand how difficult and overwhelming it can be for those of us who aren't nearly so extroverted to fit into it and find our place - especially those who find themselves at the far end of introversion. We are not good at, or graceful in, shallow conversation. We don't pick up subtle nonverbal cues. We can't turn our charisma on and off. We don't make good first impressions. We can't help it: this is just how we are. Sure, we can learn how to fake what doesn't come naturally to us, but faking it is both frightening and exhausting.

If any of you big tough cyberbullies ever find yourself in a situation of isolated disconnect, unable, for whatever reason, to communicate whatever you need to communicate to maintain your own happiness and sanity, I certainly hope you encounter more sympathy than you are exhibiting to this guy, who, ultimately, is not causing any harm to anyone and merely asking for help.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 04:59 PM

@marc22309

Sometimes people are just lazy assholes without an underlying medical condition, and it's not 'unloving' to call a spade a spade.

Yes. I could tell. You were calling him a "lazy asshole" with love.

Calling a spade a spade is appropriate, and welcome, when the spade in question doesn't get it. However, such is not the case here. Letter writer is, self admittedly, weak, scared, and insecure. He is disappointed in his own behavior. Far from being self righteous and condescending, the letter exudes a palpable sense of self loathing and unworthiness. He did not write in to complain about anything or anyone, other than himself. Mainly, he wrote in asking for help.

In this case, calling the letter writer a "lazy asshole" is not calling a spade a spade. Its just being a bully.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 05:40 PM

Well thank you, Tacroy

That just made my day.

Thursday, May 7, 2009 10:40 AM

Regarding antidepressants...

...I would say find a therapist you can trust, and then trust him or her on that. My own experience with them is that they have been helpful in evening out my mood enough so that I could have the kind of objective introspection that is required for self examination. Other people, apparently, have had other experiences.

First and formost, however, find a therapist. Not a psychiatrist, a therapist. These days, most psychiatrists spend most of their time doling out pills and very little time actually working with their clients. For therapy - which is what you really need - you will probably have to find a psychologist, or a licensed marriage and family counselor. If he or she thinks you need medication, then he or she will refer you to an actual doctor.

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