Letters to the Editor
Prairiefire
Published Letters: 38 Editor's Choice: 3
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Abuse is ABUSE, not anger. Don't expect change.
[Read the article: We've got an anger management problem]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Apollonius, if you and your partner got over your fighting problem, I'm guessing that one-sided "incredibly ugly and often involve name-calling, public humiliation, smashing objects...and me being the recipient of the silent treatment for days following" was not present for you.
I married an emotionally (not physically) abusive man and had two kids with him, all the while draining myself and my self-esteem trying to figure out what I could do to change the situation. I gave up after seven years--exhausted, overweight, and clinically depressed--when the kids were 3 and 5.
S&S, consider this: LOVE not some sort of invisible aura that shrouds the human heart without having any discernable effect on behavior. Real love has a powerful effect on observable behavior: it causes loving behavior and prevents abusive behavior. Your partner may NEED you for some reason, which will cause him to want to keep you around and to say that he loves you. He may WANT you for the standard reasons. And if he LOVES you, you will see loving--NEVER deliberately hateful or harmful--behavior from him toward you. Look honestly at his actions; what do they reveal about his true feelings for you?
You and your partner have different problems: his is a serious emotional, psychiatric, or personality disorder of some sort; yours is that you live with someone who is making you scared and sad. Go ahead and fix your problem. He'll never fix his, particularly with you hanging around making it possible.
Twelve years later, my ex-husband is still the same and has gone through a series of girlfriends. My teenagers are fine, but eager for the day when they will have nothing to do with their father anymore. I'm healthy, happy, and getting married on Saturday to a wonderful, emotionally stable, and TRULY loving man.
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This Extrovert wanted--no, needed--peace & privacy
[Read the article: New moms: Do they vant to be alone?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In response to the first post, I'll introduce myself as Karen ENTJ, mother of two.
During my post-childbirth blur, people visited me in the hospital room whom I did not even know, but I thought I should. (My husband later told me that they were friends from his work, whom I'd met once before.)
My husband's brother and his wife flew in and stayed at his parent's house, where we were 'invited' to come with the new baby two days after we got home. Still tired and blurry, I did not have the sense to say no and went anyway. When I, a normally sane and strong woman, broke down in tears at the dinner table, my blessed sister-in-law stated that she'd thought this was a bad idea, and that she was going to do something about it. She swept me and the baby into her rented car and drove us home, deposited us safe inside, and drove away.
I have counted her among my angels ever since.
My daughter was an exception--she had severe jaundice and back in 1988, that meant putting her in a light box and turning her every 20 minutes around the clock. My parents came to stay in our house, and we broke the day into four shifts. Our family was not alone, but my parent's help was a lifesaver during the four days while the baby got over her jaundice.
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But then they need to vote, and then the votes must be counted
[Read the article: Congressional approval rating: 16 percent]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Lordie, those are comforting poll numbers--in terms of Americans finally getting a grasp of the realities of our current situation.
But everyone please remember that we need to get a large number of the 84% to the polls on November 7, and then we need to make sure their votes get counted accurately.
It's not over 'til it's over, and amoral power-hungry SOBs cannot be expected to go down without a nasty fight.
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More money = higher on the list
[Read the article: Melinda Gates: A woman to watch]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I haven't looked at the list, but knowing the WSJ and their singular criterion for excellence, I wouldn't be at all surprised if a woman's position on that list was nearly completely dictated by her net worth. In their eyes, a married dollar and an earned dollar contribute equally to the value of the human in question.
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Sexy for my own joy, or sexy to wring approval from others?
[Read the article: When are girls too young to go wild?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A lot of these posts speak of juvenile sexual displays as being either always expression or always exploitation.
I'm guessing most women reading these posts feel the same as I do: we've done both, and we feel that we can usually tell when a sexy-acting woman or girl is doing which.
No prude and a real fan of healthy active sexuality, I had the same experience as the original columnist a few years back at my daughter's middle school 'talent' show. I was made heartsick by the unremitting relentlessness of the bump-and-grind and the fact that not one single dance number performed by the girls was anything but an imitation of a sleazy music video.
These girls weren't joyously celebrating their sexual energy. They were not letting loose a self-affirming rebellion against those who would constrain it.
Their sexual energy was a commodity to be packaged within a set of physical movements prescribed for them by the electronic entertainment industry and then handed over in exchange for the approval of their peers and yes, the parents, in the audience.
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An offshoot of an older meme
[Read the article: On the trail of "legislate, don't investigate!"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]'Legislate, don't investigate' looks to me like an new sprout off one of the Republicans' root memes, the one that promotes 'values-based' or 'faith-based'(whatever) over reason-based (whatever.)
Republicans would like us to believe that good leaders don't need facts or information on which to base their decisions. Ideology over intellect. Announce that you're a 'decider;' admit to not reading newspapers as if you're proud of being uninformed. Start wars without intelligence; shut research out of rule-making.
"Legislate, don't investigate" reinforces the message that it's wussy to want to investigate before taking action.