Dear King,

Have a great weekend. We miss you. I am looking at the Angels versus the Tigers on TV, and Mirabile Dictu! I see Howard Dean managing the Angels! Eventually, I find out that it is Mike Sciosia. But, Cryin Out Loud, Mike has gotten old, and he looks just like the prominent Democrat.

Catchers, I think, look more like politicians than other baseball players. I saw the Yankees' second string catcher on TV the day before yesterday, and he looks like Saddam Hussein. But Dick Cheney looks like Gordie Howe. Which sport has the most politician look-alikes?

Dear King,

We hope you are maybe out on some rich guy's boat this Labor Day. Have fun, but we miss you.

1. The Angels still are playing the Tigers, and I keep seeing Angels manager Mike Sciosia on TV. I am starting to think maybe he looks more like Garth Brooks than like Howard Dean. Perhaps he is just more rested than he was a couple days ago. And, I always used to think Lou Piniella looked like me, until he got so old. So how should we frame this on-going baseball look-alike inquiry? Posters: What baseball player looks like you?

2. I know about Red Sox fans and Fenway and Boston, so I say: Rabid Red Sox fans, cool it! Here's your big problem: You believe Boston (the city) is a legitimate rival for New York City. It is not. New Yorkers never even think of Boston in the same breath. (Can your thoughts have breaths?)

Compared to New York, Boston is a small town with almost nothing going on. And your baseball team is no more interesting than (say) the Indians or the Tigers. Do not buy into the legend. The Bosox legend is boring. Boston is okay, but New York, Paris, Istanbul, and even Amsterdam are in a higher league. And the Red Sox are sunk deep in second place, even deeper in the wild card standings.

Every generation learns music over again from scratch. That is the reason your Smashing Pumpkins sounds obvious, basic, and tedious to me, and my John Lee Hooker sounds spookily pre-destined to you. Or, you may adore (say) "Surf City", and maybe "Surf City" always brings you back to a certain summer on a certain beach somewhere. But, my man, I know how to play "Surf City", and it is fun, but it is not hard to play. (Nor is anything by Smashing Pumpkins, nor anything on that Blue Album, nor on my beloved White Album...)

Music is mysterious, but musicians of all generations soak it up, suck it up, while mere critics always write astounded books about Music And The Brain, and such. The critics and the fans would be far better off if they just bought guitars or drum sets, and arranged for some lessons.

Instead of reading about how incredible music is, in a book by somebody who does not even play music, I suggest: 1. Listen to music, and enjoy it, and, 2. Play music. Trying to understand music is a boring waste of time, compared with music itself.

Listen, play, enjoy. Duke Ellington said, "If it sounds good, it is good." If you spend the same amount of time practicing your guitar as you would spend reading this book, you will know a great deal more about music, and you will be much happier.

I do not know who these kooky posters are (other posts here). I do not know what they are talking about. Tom, your cartoons are right-on, and they are funny.

Thanks for the artichokes. Spunky loves them, and will be sitting up soon, I hope...

The shallow fools have succeeded in covering their butts, and they have survived, even though they can't cover their shame. I just realized that "shameful" and "shameless" mean exactly the same thing.

I would love to know what it's like to work in the US Dept. of Justice right now. Apparently, some of the prosecutors are professionals who care about justice, and do things such as investigating Tom DeLay... But their bosses are right wing kooks who justify torture, and seek to protect the Delays, and to delay, delay, delay the day of reckoning.

Years ago, Bob Woodward's book about the preparations for conquering Iraq showed G.W. Bush openly preparing, and charging ahead, even while he still said he might not invade. Bush actually told Woodward all this. Bush was very open about it. At the time, I believe Woodward was appalled, but it wrote it down in neutral terms.

Did you read that book? What did you think then? Why did nobody cry out back then?

These are Compassionate Conservatives, and they only use Compassionate Torture. They are Neo Conservatives, and they only run Neo Dungeons. What the heck are you complaining about?

"Porn For Puritans" Condi's (et al.) mannered neo-con, fundamentalist style of femaleness adds the crowning touch to this story. They are like characters in an historical costume drama, constrained by their petticoats and corsets (oo-la-la!). Condi, Harriet, Karen, and the rest choose to play their roles this way. So they are fair game, up to a point. The White House men are just stock syncophant characters in boring power ties and boxer shorts, spouting boilerplate lines.

Condi still can star in her own movie, if she wishes. She might play a big role in the movie of our lives. She still could come up with a plan, and break with Bush, and speak out. She might possibly produce and direct her own show.

The MidWEST is a place in the USA. Saddam's part of the world is the Middle East, not the Mideast. This is one of those "tin ear" things, like Homeland Security and Crusade and New World Order.