Letters to the Editor
timbuktom
Published Letters: 2445 Editor's Choice: 141
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Spectacle of Major League Baseball!
[Read the article: King Kaufman's Sports Daily]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A lot of fun every once in a while! But it's a long, hard sit on a plastic chair. Your Buster is a champ to get through it, and you are a champ to pull him all the way through that process.
Better baseball is on your horizon, King:
It will not be long before you get to watch Buster in hilarious, preposterous T-Ball games, where they do not even keep score. And, if you do not balloon up above 300 pounds, in a few years, you will have time to start playing softball again. Grown-up, incompetent softball, the White Man's Joy, my favorite activity with my pants on, and without a bowling ball in my right hand.
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Nice Job, Andrew, But Still Metaphors
[Read the article: Panic on Wall Street]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]1. Interest rates have gone down, over the past month, over the past week. This does not square with the idea that money is scarce. Is the the central bank intervention effect? Maybe it is just too soon to measure? Does not make sense yet.
2. I learned a little economics when I had to go to summer school at the U. of Michigan in 1972. At that time, I learned, and I wondered why every American does not learn this stuff in junior high. Indeed, why not?
Americans would be richer and happier if they knew something about economics. Plus, they would have no excuse now.
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Gee Whiz!
[Read the article: P.S., Mr. President: "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I criticize the president all the time in Salon, and Dana Perino NEVER calls me!
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Answer for Clueless Chicken (Chicken sounds much more PC than Chick, no?)
[Read the article: King Kaufman's Sports Daily]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A home run, in golf terms, is like hitting the green on your drive. Homers are much more common than holes-in-one.
A hole-in-one, in baseball terms, is like hitting the ball all the way out of the stadium, and then having the ball bounce into the open mouth of the statue across the street. It hardly ever happens, and you cannot do it on purpose.
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Hillary Clinton looks GREAT in a Walker Texas Ranger outfit!
[Read the article: P.S., Mr. President: "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And Barack Obama makes 'em swoon when he puts on his Elvis costume. Have you ever seen Dennis Kucinich dressed up like Superman?
Have you ever seen a Republican candidate dressed up in drag?
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You think somebody's gonna bite on "Otiose," don't you?
[Read the article: Panic on Wall Street]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Where's that odious troll when we need him?
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When he's in Washington, he dresses as Barnaby Jones...
[Read the article: P.S., Mr. President: "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S."]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]So, of course, he dresses as Walker Texas Ranger in Crawford, you fool! And, his middle name is... Walker!
G.W. Bush actually is the original, true model upon whom Walker Texas Ranger was based. That is what he really was doing during the time he was AWOL from the Air Force.
Didn't you realize that? He's just too modest and too patriotic to admit it in public. What a guy!
[I do not know why this story strikes me nearly dead with laughter. I apologize for hogging three posts, but I hope you are smiling about this. Please go out and have a marvellous weekend.]
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Sort of like Doctor Kevorkian
[Read the article: Pedophile blogger unfairly targeted?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Why would this UCLA professor decide to defend this particular guy? Obviously, this child-loving guy is cuckoo.
Holy Batman, Batman! Nobody ever would want this guy within thirty miles of a daughter. Maybe he has a point, but it ain't nobody's duty to jump in and help him.
This UCLA guy can pick a different issue. We have plenty of crucial issues. Plenty of opportunities to help which do not involve old cuckoos who want to fondle our little daughters.
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He is a big torture advocate as well...
[Read the article: After 9/11, Rudy wasn't a rescue worker -- he was a Yankee]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]But somehow he connects with Midwesterners. God save us! He is the (how shall I say?) "hip" choice among middle-American ding-dongs.
They believe they are cool to choose Giuliani versus Romney or McCain, even though they themselves never actually have been cool in any way, ever, with their mullets and printed T-shirts and wrinkled pants and giant shoes.
I believe they think it's cool that they have mastered the pronunciation of his name, "Jool-lee-AH-nee." That is a big deal. That is as sophisticated as they can imagine they ever might be.
And they damn well hate Hilary. For no particular reason.
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News From The Upper Midwest
[Read the article: After 9/11, Rudy wasn't a rescue worker -- he was a Yankee]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My old post about Midwesterners got some notice. I am a Midwesterner. If I could type with a Fargo-style accent, I would.
My message is that Giuliani is considered a fresh face and an interesting new alternative by many people in this part of the country. We have not lived through all his history.
And many people have not heard him recently, trying to sound more-brutal-than-thou on the subject of torture. So, unfortunately, Rudy has a pretty good chance within a large segment of voters here.
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This Makes Me Cry
[Read the article: Heck of a Job: The Abu Ghraib Edition]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This jack-ass lieutenant-colonel and all the people below and above him in the good-ole chain-o-command should be begging for mercy. But we get this instead.
And their victims have to beg for mercy. And we need to apologize for being Americans and beg for understanding every time we lweave the USA.
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Holy Ganoly! Detroit Free Press did not run it either!
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Detroit is the center for Muslims and Arabs in the USA. So, if you want to follow up this story, please contact the Detroit Free Press and the Detroit News. Both papers have long, deep experience with Muslim issues. They have many Muslims and Arabs on their staffs. They would give us interesting feedback.
Overall, though, it appears to be fear of people who have no sense of humor. You never can explain a joke. Better just to tell another joke, and then, if they don't get it, find a better audience.
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About Airport Men's Rooms
[Read the article: The U.S. senator and the bathroom stall]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I got home from Greece once upon a time (Newark Airport), and there was a Welcome-To-America Pervert in the men's room, looking at me through a hole in the partition, and hoping I liked him. (I usually never poop on planes, so I went to the men's room as soon as I got back to the Land o' the Free and Homo the Brave.)
I was not afraid of the guy or anything, but please do not try to tell me that we waste police resources if we post cops sometimes in airport men's room. I wanted a hamburger when I got back to the USA, but we need to keep the hot-dog cravers under some control.