This article is not so bad. This is the sort of article somebody in the real world might read.

We here on Salon have proved over and over, every day, a million times a week that Cheney and Bush are evil, and we keep proving and proving, but the regular folks do not read us.

We should not label Barack as a pansy, or label Hillary as a dyke, but we actually are not doing that here. And this is an interesting topic, fer cryin out loud. It has the sort of true-yet-simple theme America Itself might read all the way to the end.

America is not Meta-Your-Mental-Landscape. Torture Lovers are not going to vote for either Obama or Clinton, anyway. The rest of the country are interested in this article, and it will not hurt our cause.

You did not let it run long emough. Future web historians will judge tah cutting Audiofile, and not cutting other Salon stuff, will be your biggest mistake.

Back in the old days (note I did not say GOOD old days), "Under God," and "In God we trust," meant different things from what they mean now.

They meant that we were being humble. "In God we trust," meant, WE TRUST NO MAN, NOT EVEN DICK CHENEY, NOT EVEN GEORGE WASHINGTON.

"Under God," meant, THE USA IS THE NEXT COOLEST THING TO GOD.

The utterly idiotic christianists, and the willfully idiotic atheists apparently are stupid, and apparently know nothing of American history or anything else.

Cool it with the God stuff! Any dopus understands better than you understand. Pray for enlightenment, or do more research! And in the meantime, be quiet!

This is your Golden Opportunity (tm)! The King is driving his oxen across America, and cannot squelch you in any way.

So, please go ahead, and write your own comment right here, right now. Write now! (Git it?)

You, beloved Thrasher, might impress us and America and the rest of the world so darn much that you, Thrasher, might get offered King Kaufman's job here on Salon. If you are so much smarter than King, heck! You deserve it! And King would not even have grounds to protest. King probably would become your biggest, most slavish fan. It's the American way!

So, beloved, literary, wise Thrasher, please do it now! Write it, and we will come in the biblical sense.

We are waiting.

Holy Schnitzelbank, big boy! Black, Black, Black Like Me! (Or AM I?????)

Go ahead and write something! I dare you! We will cut you to ribbons! You can't write! Your momma can't write either.

I rest my case, Your Honor.

This weekend in Detroit, we have boat racing on the Detroit River. Huge, powerful boats are running up and down, making a lot of noise, scaring the doves, the homeless guys, and other endangered species.

Hardly anybody watches. See whether you even can find this on your cable TV. You cannot, even though this is the biggest powerboat regatta in America.

This is real sport. This sport costs a lot of money, and even if you won every race, you would not come close to paying your expenses. Yet they race, and they have a great time.

One of the good boats in the fourth-from-top class, ironicaly, is named "Miss Thrasher." And several of Miss Thrashers's crew members are black! Har-Har-Har! (You may need to read back in this thread to understand that joke.) But what I say is true. Har-Har-Har!

Fast speedboats originated in Detroit, Michigan, USA. During Prohibition (1920's), bootleggers needed fast boats to bring booze from Canada (just 1/2 mile away, where booze was legal) to the USA (Detroit). Chriscraft, and all of the other post-World-War-Two speedboat companies came out of this bootlegging tradition.

We remember, and Detroit still races fast motorboats.

Baseball fans, you have read about Jackie Robinson and Ty Cobb stealing home, but have you ever actually seen anybody do it in a big-league game?

Gary Sheffield did it today!

Sheffield's Tiger teammate Carlos Guillen took an extra-long lead off first base; the Seattle catcher threw to first, but Guillen got back; the return throw back home was late, and Sheffield scored from third! Amazing!

In your baseball minds, please combine this rare event with last week's inside-the-park homer by Ichiro (spelling?) Suzuki. Are we seeing a new Golden Age Of Baseball (tm)?

Please, baseball statisticians, look up home steals and inside-the-parkers. How rare, really, are they? How recent are they? Inquiring noses want to know.

If McCain had taken up the points of the Iraq Study Group, and broken with W. Bush, I would have registered as a Republican, and voted for McCain in the Republican primary or in the caucus, or whatever we have in Michigan now.

Probably many other Kooky Independents would have done so, because McCain would have had a chance in the presidential election, and he might have led us out of Iraq. McCain seemed uniquely qualified to lead Republicans out of Iraq, just as Nixon led them into China.

And, how about those guys who produced the ISG Report? They were big-time Republicans, including W. Bush's current Secretary of Defense. There is some Republican muscle, which would have jumped on McCain's bandwagon.

Glen, you may be too blithe in asserting that McCain never could have gotten the nomination. But it's moot now. Still, I cannot believe how blithe McCain and the rest have been in choosing war over reason. It seems to be just a matter of polls and slogans, no wisdom, no leadership, no nuthin.