Is it in our national interest to keep the Wall Street Journal in American hands, as we kept our port operations in American hands last year?

Is Afghanistan just as lost as Iraq? Can we pull back from Iraq, and stay in Afghanistan? Can we make Afghanistan into Dubai?

We should not even have this discussion. The right to vote is obvious.

Shame on anybody who tries to make this an issue. You try to take advantage of fair-minded people by trying to blow smoke up our butts. Be abashed. Slink back.

...compared with her kid Prince Charles, and compared with her uncle the Duke of Windsor. And her grandchildren are okay too: Prince Harry is in Iraq wearing body armor.

And it's okay that George W. invited the jockey, because the Queen likes and knows horses. But the Queen knows horses' asses too. And she deserves a lot of credit for keeping her mouth shut about Horse's Ass G. W. Bush and his twin Horse's Ass Tony Blair.

G.W. Bush probably would torture the Queen if he thought he could get away with it. Under U.S. law, while she was here, he could have sent her to Guantanamo with no charge and no explanation, since she is not a U.S. citizen.

She was very brave even to come here. I hope she is safely back home in her civilized country, out of G.W. Bush's grasp.

Speaking from an undislosed bunker, Dick Cheney and Eva Braun vow to fight on.

1. Pay Phones with dials,

2. Manual Typewriters that dinged,

3. Everybody smoked cigarettes,

4. Drunks still were considered cute,

5. Hair past my shoulders, because I was away from my dad.

Simple-minded theoretical scenarios and TV fiction motivate many of our fellow Americans to the point where they applaud torture. The USA no longer is the last best hope for civilization. We may have been one of the last outposts of civilization, but now we have collapsed.

Falwell was one of the apocalyptic christianists who supported the current state of Israel, as an ally in fighting Satan.

That actually may be his most profound contribution to American politics and policy.

In a brief statement, God announced that Jerry Falwell would be welcome in Heaven, but doubted that the late whacky rabblerouser would have the guts to show up at the Pearly Gates.

"We believe he [the Rev. Mr. Falwell] may be too ashamed of himself, now that he has died, and is privy to the Truth," said God, appearing in a purple gown with a matching triangular purple halo.

God refused to speculate on Falwell's whereabouts. She took no questions from assembled media representatives, and returned to Her glorious throne.

I remember when Wolfoblitz was just a reporter during the Kuwait War. He was SO NICE and SUCH A GOOD REPORTER!

It's sad to see how far he has fallen. Wolf! What happened?

I would not be surprised if some Koreans or Vietnamese offshore something to Detroit. We Detroiters have offshored like crazy, and now we have the pre-developed infrastructure and the idle workforce and the fallen currency... We are just about ready to receive, rather than giving away.

If you follow global economic logic out to its conclusions, Detroit could be the next hotspot. We haven't been giving our livelihood away. We have been getting ready for the next round. What goes around, maybe, comes back around pretty quickly.

Hi! This is your pal Jerry, reporting from Heaven! Holy smokes! This place is JUST like I expected:

God is a thick-waisted, only-moderately-smart White Man in a $10,000 suit and a button-down shirt, with plain black socks. The angels are common-sense pistol-packin' guys with short hair. And all the gals are cute!

Every guy in Heaven has his own Lay-Z-Boy made of clouds, in front of his own wide-screen TV!

Repent! (I did.) Otherwise you might have to spend Eternity somewhere else.

One amazing result of these revelations is that strange-ranger John Ashcroft looks sort of like a hero. Mirabile dictu!

How dare you write, "Putz?" We True Non-Post-Modernist, Non-Humanist Americans do not know what "Putz" means, and we feel threatened, and we b;ame you and all your treasonous ilk.

Please take a read through this, and tell me what you think.

These creeps went to the poor guy while he was in the hospital in serious condition!

Newt Gingrich is supposed to have done the same thing with his wife, involving a divorce.

These people have no concept of basic decency. They have risen much further than they should have. All they have is a certain assured tone of voice, a command of resonant cliches, and hootspa-born-of-ignorance.

Let's send them all to Guantanamo!

...Just as they hate Hillary Rodham Clinton, because she is competent and smart and more.

But the Right-Wingers will not be able to voice their dislike and fear, because she is African-American. And their poison will not spread, as their poison re Hillary has spread. And she and Barack may be able to win, based on the competence and intelligence and much, much more.

Off Topic, because all those Salon People are down in Greenwich Village spending their Exuberant Media Salaries, rather than journalistically guarding the USA:

Our new Immigration Agreement lets people bring their families here on vacation, but if they work here, the spouse and kids have to stay home. (Cuckoo!)

Americans WILL do the jobs. Please bring a bus to Detroit, and recruit. American people who speak good English will sign up. Treat them well; train them. And re-hire them next year at planting time or harvest time, or whatever.

Most of the foreigners I know work at great data jobs in the USA. THEY will not pick mint. But Americans will.

ALBERTO GONZALES

Pro: Can drive the Chuck Wagon.

Con: Can't cook.