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Published Letters: 152
No one is holding you back are they? You might have a hard time getting published, or getting readership, but that's what writers have to deal with. That and paying the bills.
Aside from that, you're young and it takes a while to get your bearings after college. There's nothing wrong with what your doing now. Lot's of people watch too much tv and have jobs they aren't crazy about. Watch less if you think you should and keep an eye out for a better job.
So, he likes porn and video games. Is this a problem? This is Regular Guy behaviour. These things didn't become multi-billion dollar industries because just a couple people like the stuff. Would you prefer it if he was into nascar, or golf or something? What hobby suits the boyfriend of a lawyer such as yourself?
Let's take a look at character:
He's kind and intelligent and your bitter and resentful, by your own admission. Some people would be happy with this guy. He sounds like he takes life easily. As opposed to going through life bitter and resentful, like some people.
Doesn't sound to prosperous. Go find a someone who's looking for a bitter, desperate. You'll be doing your guy a favor.
"We have among the highest rates of STDs of any developed country in the world"
Why the scare-mongering? The guy said 'highest rates' not 'Number 1'.
Furthermore, why is the US always compared to the 'developed world'? We should be compared to Latin America as well. Our population isn't entirely from the 'developed world' so the comparison is inaccurate.
Lasty, at a certain point, people have to be responsible for their own exposure to infectious disease. If you want to avoid std's, unless you're a rape victim, it's not that difficult. There's nothing the government or the culture can do for people who aren't concerned with preventative health.
Or do you just really want to tell it? There's nothing more fun than pointing out the shortcomings of others.
The real question is why they are so hung up on snaggin a man. (What is this 1954?) Tell them to stop watching Sex and the City. They're in their 20's, they should have plenty to keep them busy.
I have to say, this is a tough case. There's been some interesting discussion here.
I guess my final take on the issue is that you should always treat your significant other kindly and respectfully.
The carnal side of a relationship is it's own thing though. Not suceptible to argument, logic or discussion, and if it isn't there you can't force it.
Best wishes to you LW. I hope you have a lot of joy ahead of you.
"Democrats' lust to win at any cost"
This bill is going to have a tough as hell chance as it is? What's this shit about winning? Pelosi is bona fide pro-choice.
Yes or No - Should they have offered up a bill that had no chance of passing just to make a point about being pro-choice?
I'm pro-choice and I approve what the house did.
Try living in the real world instead of a shell Kissling. You might learn some humility.
I wouldn't want my partner to have sex with me if they weren't into it. The idea that they were doing it out of obligation, duty would kill my libido. To me that's neither good sex or loving.
Fault has nothing to do with it. If you aren't attracted to someone you shouldn't fake it. Should he lie to her? You think that'd be better? More caring? Take a couple viagra and do your duty?
If the lack of sex is deal breaker for this woman, by all means split. The guy is being honest about his feelings though and he gets shit on for it. This is why men lie.
"Wouldn't a man who loves a woman be sexually attracted to her regardless of changes in appearance?"
Desire is an animal thing. Superficial good looks count. Do the men who go to strip clubs desire the strippers? Yes. Do they love them? No.
On the other hand, it's very easy to love someone and not want to have sex with them.
Sorry about the cancer. Good luck. FWIW, the guy sounds ok overall. Sounds like he's sticking by you. Even if he consciously wants to have sex with you as a considerate partner, his body reaction just might not be there.
"It must be great to be passive in courtship, and in sex, then judge the performance of those that do the heavy lifting."
That is a good point. If you can't even talk to the person you're having sex with, your a lousy ass lover *and* a blabbermouth. Stay classy MEW.
1. How do you know what I expect?
2. In the 90's people we're writing similar articles saying that we didn't have enough people in the US to do all IT work and we needed to import them. Now the story is that *Dilbert's* doomed? Hmm. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in between? Maybe things aren't always all or nothing?
3. Why discuss this in terms of *Dilbert*? I'm sure many Salon readers will find this cute/clever. I don't. The future of employment in this country is a serious subject. I find this approach condescending and it speaks of the flippancy of internet writing. Typical Salon.
4. If the assertion is that the number IT jobs are shrinking, should we not eliminate the H1-B visa, which is based on the assumption that we don't have enough tech people here?
Just sayin...
"You like that, baby? You like that?" he asked, though he didn't notice
I wasn't answering."
If you don't like something, you might try telling the guy at the time, as opposed, to say, writing a blog post about it for the whole world to see. Are you even interested in sex anyway or just getting hits by writing about sex?