Letters to the Editor
psamet
Published Letters: 110 Editor's Choice: 4
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Heh
[Read the article: Katie Roiphe's morning after]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've learned not to touch this subject with a 10-foot pole, and judging from these reponses, it seems I've made a wise decision. It's nice though to watch all of the carnage from a distance.
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Re: "Naked Emporer?"
[Read the article: A 19-year-old wants my husband]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You do realize that other people have beliefs, values, and desires that differ from your own? And--surprise, surprise--many of them are emotionally healthy. I thought we'd learned that in grade school. I'll forgive you if you just forgot ;)
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Believe in humanity
[Read the article: Is atheism dead?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]We are part of a saga that stretches back more than 100,000 years (more if you consider our human-like ancestors). During that time, we've grown from ignorant scavengers to masters of the planet. Although there have been ups and downs and great evil committed throughout history, we have nonetheless improved our standard of living, our forms of government, our knowledge about the universe, and the value we place on human life. We individuals can potentially play an important role in this progression, so that each subsequent generation lives in a better world than the last. That alone should be sufficient to give your life meaning.
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Cosmic Mojo:
[Read the article: How can I help my friend get over losing his girlfriend?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I just don't buy the idea that neural connections aren't completed until age 25. Is that true with every individual?
I noticed a spike in maturity in myself at age 16 (junior year of high school) and another at age 19 (sophmore year of college). (I was an introspective kid, so I kept track of such things.) These spikes weren't accompanied by any sort of momentous event in my life or emotional upheaval, so I can only assume they were the result of "neural connections" being made, as you say. And after 19, that was it--for better or for worse, the way my mind works now (at age 28) is pretty much the same as it did at age 19. So I can only conclude that emotional maturity is like boobs and beards: individuals get them at different times in their lives. Hell, I still can't grow a full beard, yet some of my friends could at age 14.
So before you quoted biology and set up hard figures, perhaps you should have looked at the individuals in the case at hand. Oh yeah, I forgot, you don't really know the individuals outside of a one-page letter of a third-party source. So maybe you should just drop the ageism altogether.
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Czarina, Mojo:
[Read the article: How can I help my friend get over losing his girlfriend?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Thanks for the links. I'll be sure to check them out. And next time I date someone 21-25 years old, I'll be sure to request an MRI.
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I should just bite my tounge, but I can't
[Read the article: How can I help my friend get over losing his girlfriend?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Here's another angle:
At the age range we are talking about 19-25, most people today make very important decisions about where they are going to live, what they are going to study, and what they are going to do for a living. These decisions have consquences that extend throughout a person's entire life time. In my grandparent's generation (and even my parent's generation), people were marrying and having kids at this age. Are you saying that they/we are all immature when making these most important life decisions. More to the point: does science on neural behavior blind you from the fact that people display emotional maturity through observable external behavior and conscious thought?
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Czarina: you are a link machine.
[Read the article: How can I help my friend get over losing his girlfriend?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I guess I have my reading cut out for me :)
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But what does it mean?
[Read the article: Is a "feminine" man likely to be a family guy?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Are the subjects responding to biological triggers or simple convential wisdom?
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Going bald is like mourning the death of a loved one
[Read the article: How can I comfort my boyfriend about losing his hair?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Except the "loved one" in this case is one's own youth. Balding guys go through a mourning period (mine was a couple of months) when they pity themselves and think of all the worst case scenerios that may arise because of their baldness. Only after we realize that things are not going to change just because we think they're unfair will most of us will snap out of it and stop caring about the hair. Only a small percentage of males (I think) will continue mourning indefinitely. Hopefully your guy is one of the former types, but there is nothing really you can say that will help. It's a realization he has to come to on his own. The only thing I can suggest is to make sure he knows that you are still attracted to him and that he's not going to lose you because he is going bald.
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The relationship between human and pet dog
[Read the article: Feminist blog goes to the dogs]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]is less like master and slave and more like parent and child. It is defined by mutual affection as much as it is by ownership.
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Damn!
[Read the article: Should I tell my new man that I used to date women?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"(Salon letter-posters: Don't bash me for dating women (womyn?) and now dating men. I dated women, now I date men, so what, no big deal.)"
Ha ha ha! I was just about to rush to judgement but now I can't. As a Salon poster, I value my right to derail a thread based on my self-important objection to one inconsequential detail in the original letter. Damn you for denying me that right! ;)
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@ leftychris
[Read the article: Bringin' home the bacon, but no boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Ever since I could remember, it's been uncool to study and get good grades, and for some reason, males are more possessed by this insane notion than females. I think it's fueled by a resurgence of machoism which is 1 part anti-authority, 1 part anti-feminism, and 1 part homophobia. Young men are trying to rediscover and express an idea of manhood that is focused more on physical prowess, courage, and womanizing than on mental abilities.
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@ leftychris
[Read the article: Bringin' home the bacon, but no boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Just because the proximate cause is simple doesn't mean the ultimate causes are.
I'd love to hear your theories on the matter.
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@ leftychris
[Read the article: Bringin' home the bacon, but no boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I forgot my emoticons, so please don't think I'm being confrontational. Just imagine a :) after everything I say!
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"You don't know what you don't know"
[Read the article: Men on eHarmony seem obsessed with women who are "clean"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This should be everyone's mantra when online dating. I hate when people see red flags in everything. There could be dozens of reasons why a man would check off "must be clean." In all likelihood, he has had a previous relationship with slob (yes, slobs are not confined to the male gender). If you are worried about the oral sex thing, maybe you should ask about it instead of assuming.