I myself, a childless woman in her late forties, am often annoyed by what I see as the overindulgence of many parents towards their screaming, if not brats, little people (as my husband likes to call them) when in a public space, particularly public spaces whose primary function is as a respite from the day to day, as opposed to the supermarket or other retail spaces.

I just know that my mom and dad would never have tolerated that type of behavior from us when were kids. Their deal was that they would bring us to places, and if we acted like jerks, well, we weren't allowed to accompany them to those places anymore. Which is not to say that they stopped going, as much as they stopped bringing us along, as in "they left us behind!".

As a child who wanted so much to hang with the grownups, you can bet that the fear of being prohibited from accompanying the grownups to grownup places quickly schooled me on the subtleties of when not to go limp, or throw a tantrum, or spit food, or run pell-mell around places of mostly adult customers.

Here's the cafe owner's sign, which I'm sorry parents, I just don't think is all that unreasonable: �Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven.� Why is this different than obnoxious people who frequent restaurants and cafes without admonishment? Well, frankly it's not all that much, but as parents, your children are learning from you what's acceptable behavior, and here's where that parenting thing comes in, I suppose. The rude adults who come into the place probably had parents who never schooled them in the proper behavior to exhibit when in a public setting.

I do think that when you bring a child, or children, into a restaurant or cafe primarily frequented by adults, it is incumbent on the parent(s) to keep an eye on their kids, so that they don't annoy the adult customers who are there to find a little bit of quality time with a cup of tea or coffee and their newspaper. Get a perspective, people! This is not blacklisting as much as it is a cry for courtesy. I'm all for parents bringing their kids along, where appropriate, but it's got to be a controlled thing, and not just let the kids "be themselves" at the expense of all of the others in the place, who are just trying to enjoy the space in a, yes, "adult" way. Sorry if childbearing entails sacrifice, but if this is one of them, well, sorry, you made the choice to have the kid or kids in the first place. No guarantees were in place that nothing would change. You're in charge of these little people, it's your job to school them, or to acknowledge when they're just not ready for the situation.

And just a personal wishlist item in the consistency department, it would be nice if the cafe owners would enforce some of the same principles on some of the grownups in the establishment, as well. Particularly those on cellphones.

Rudeness is no one's prerogative...adult or adult parents of children.

Warning, this is a pissed off letter.

Babies do not belong in bars. Sorry that there's not a surfeit of elegant places for you to take your children, but my neighborhood bar is not a choice for you. Sorry.

We have such a weird culture. People want to have kids and yet don't want to realize that there are changes, yes, inconveniences attendant on that choice. People! For cryin' out loud, there are those who don't choose to have children, what makes you think we want to be exposed to yours?

Seriously, I never wanted kids, what makes you think I want to see your infinks where I go to drink and have fun with yes, my adult friends. I don't find your children adorable, nor do I want to be around them. Sorry, but there it is.

Get a freakin' babysitter, and stop trying for the inclusion of your kids everywhere you go! Tell me you wouldn't have been annoyed by this intrusion before you decided to procreate your own damned selves. Your choice, yes, but don't force it down my throat, and hell no, do NOT look in askance at me when I don't fawn over your mewling brat, and when I look annoyed at their screaming because they're in a place where they shouldn't be in the first place. If only you'd had you had the sense to leave them home, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

And accept the fact that when you had the kid, it wasn't like getting a dog. There are sacrifices that accompany your choice, but that's what having kids is about, no? Sacrifices?

Just don't expect those of who don't choose to have kids to have to put up with your mostly whining brats. And if you do bring them, make sure you've trained them out of the overindulgence you seem to feel they're entitled to because they're "just so precious". I want a quiet dinner, minus screaming kids, in an adult environment that I feel entitled to. Take the brats to Chucky Cheese, or train 'em to keep their screaming mouths shut.