My initial, knee-jerk response (as many would probably have) is to mention how the actions of individuals like Ted Haggard deeply underscore the hypocrisy present in mainstream American Christianity.

However, I honestly feel sympathy for this kind of situation. Imagine that you are gay but raised in an environment in which hard right, fundamentalist dogma is central to not only your spiritual life, but influences every aspect of your interpersonal and social life as well. The overwhelming demand of conformity is largely what characterizes fundamentalist dogma, and any deviation from what is considered the “norm” is not dealt with with any shred of compassion and understanding, but relentlessly excoriated, mitigated and pushed away.

Now, imagine you are gay and brought up in this environment. It’s lose-lose. You cannot be honest and open about your orientation, because it would mean exile from your peer group and often your family (who is “supposed” to love you regardless, btw). Your only recourse is to live a lie – marry into a sham heterosexual marriage and feign happiness and “normality” while screaming and crumbling inside.

Given that, it’s completely understandable that Haggard and others like him, would seek an expression of their true sexual orientation in whatever way possible, even if it were with male prostitutes or tapping under restroom stalls. People’s true nature and identity can only be contained and concealed for so long before nature forces it to emerge.

This is why I shied away from organized religion in my early teens. I knew young men and women in my high school who were clearly gay or lesbian, but “required” by their religious beliefs and peer group to stifle their orientation. Being a gay or lesbian teen is hard enough (I know) without the additional pressure and stigma fundamentalist religion places upon it.

Does this not also underscore the high probability that sexual orientation is an inborn trait, and not “chosen” as so many on the right would assert? Logically, why would a man like Haggard “choose” to engage in homosexual behavior, when the social and personal costs to him would be so great?

For an organization which asserts to be compassionate and embracing of the marginalized, contemporary Christianity is failing miserably.

It is not your church’s role in society at large to act as moral arbiters for anything you perceive as a transgression- most especially for those who do not share your particular belief system. Last time I checked, this country was still a democratic republic, and not a theocracy.

You are free to your opinions and beliefs, as this is a democracy. However, I know for a fact that your religion’s exclusionist mindset, and belief that people are wrong and need healing (for something they have no choice over-see my previous letter) severely damages lives both physically and psychologically. This is not at all compassion, nor understanding- no matter what you tell yourself in order to justify it.

Ultimately, your closing line reveals all. It is the typical condescending line couched in false compassion, which desires nothing more than punishment for those who do not conform to your rigid standards.

We live in an unprecedented time, wherein we are able to stay connected, should we so desire, at all times. This affords us enormous opportunity and a surge in productivity, but the flip side to that is that we lose a quality of life that is not constantly engaged.

Our technology and connectivity is a wonderful resource, but we risk the loss of our personal time and opportunities for a quality of life that is not constantly “on the job”. What is the benefit of this high productivity if we can never disconnect, never unplug, never turn off? Our interpersonal skills and relationships suffer if we can’t have a conversation with someone without they or us checking our text messages, email, etc.?

I enjoy my job, but I don’t want my entire life to be at work.

As Mr. Conley states: “… we've exceeded almost any other nation in terms of work hours.”

We work harder, but our quality of life is less than our counterparts in Europe, who have nationalized healthcare and mandated vacation times. What is our obsession? Americans work like dogs and still have great economic and personal anxiety, terrible (if any) health insurance and a widening gap between the ultra rich and the middle class. We need some balance here, people- not only in our economic system but in the very way we are living our lives. We are running and running and working ourselves to death, we have nothing to show for it and we’re stressed out and miserable.

And: “It's difficult to stay in one place for an extended period without checking for new messages.”

So we all have a severe case of cultural ADD. Yuck.