On the one hand, it thrills me to think that Rove was reassigned in order to avoid a photo op of him being "frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs." On the other hand, Rove delights in messing with people's heads, so I find it unsettling to hear that he is talking darkly about the investigation. It kind of makes me think he's toying with us, making us think he's going to get indicted so we'll get all excited and then...

Boom. The letdown. He's in the clear.

Curse you, Karl Rove, for messing with our collective head!

It's almost May. The elections are 6 months away. The indictment of Scooter Libby didn't take place until - conveniently - after the 04 elections. I'm beginning to wonder if this snail's pace is to delay an indictment of Rove until after the November electons.

I put nothing past anybody these days. I know that makes me sound like a conspiracy nut, but I don't care. I know how devious the world is today. In a world where Ken Lay remained unindicted for years after the fact, and where he still hasn't faced the consequences of his actions, I've lost faith.

Don't stop at the headlines. Keep reading. Limbaugh is free and will stay free. His lawyers (no doubt with the help of the district attorney's office, which is answerable to the governor of Florida) penned a sweetheart deal. Limbaugh gets a clean record, he's been awarded "not guilty" status, as long as he occasionally checks in with a counselor of his own choosing for the next 18 months. This check-in is deemed "treatment" by the courts. No matter that Limbaugh has been in treatment at least twice already.

Limbaugh goes free, he pays a minimal fee ($30,000 towards the cost of the investigation), he has no record, no conviction, no nuffin' at the end of 18 months.

Ah, to be wealthy, white, male and a conservative. You can't beat it.

Y'all are addicted to oil! I'm telling you. I'm the Decider, and I decided that you people-- uh, you FOLKS -- got to do something about your addiction. I'm thinking... maybe what I did to overcome my overdependence on Jim Beam is the ticket for waht ails America. Ya see, I was drinkin' too much. So I just decided one day "I'm gonna become a Methodist. Or a Presbite-arian. Or something. I'm turning it over to the Lord from hereon in. And I did. That doesn't mean I have to go to church. I don't. These here Methatarian Protestant sects are much better than Episcopopal sects. You don't hafta go to church. You just say you respect and obey the Lord, that's all. And everything's fine.

So I'm askin' America to renounce their love of oil and join a church. A good one -- one that you don't hafta go to all the time. You just join the church, tell them you're handin' it over to God and bam - you're done. Your addiction disappears. If y'all do this, America will be better off, won't it?

Or am I fulla shit after all?

Notice this is one of Bush's favorite inserts when talking about anything economic. Health insurance? The American people want different choices. Like choosing a private health savings account.

Social Security? You can have different choices. Like abolishing the government version and handing your money over to an expensive middle man.

Energy prices? Americans want to have different choices. Like choosing to drill for oil in Alaska.

Yes, when it comes to anything affecting America's pocketbook, Karl has inculcated the Dub's cement-like skull with the "different choices" refrain, to be used especially when you want to pretend your radical revamping of familiar things is a "choice", not a wholesale destruction of a system in place.

But the war? Nuh uh. No choices there. No room for other intelligence conclusions, or we'll out your CIA agent wife.

No choice about the Secretary of Defense during wartime.

We had NO CHOICE but to go in and depose Saddam, to make the world safe because America has to depose despots (oh -- and people got ta be free --shout out to Young Rascals).

Iran is now giving us no choice but to attack it.

Bush is The Decider, not the Choice-Offerer.

And by the way, don't forget this week's "Bush is like Lincoln" refrain when writing this month's coda to the neocon's Ode to America.

April, 2006- Bush is like Lincoln, a Decider who Wants Americans To Have the Freedom of Different Choices, Praise the Lord.