Letters to the Editor
damnthatxanadu
Published Letters: 484 Editor's Choice: 14
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To anonymous with a I'm-not-a-shrink PD fetish:
[Read the article: I feel terrible about leaving but I have to go]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I am a shrink and I work with so-called Personality Disorders all the time. Let me say this quite succinctly. After reading your posts, it's apparent to me that you wouldn't know a PD from a hole in the ground. But I do think you should look in the mirror. Study it closely , because I do believe you have features of several. Your sheer NEED to spout off your diagnoses on the basis of a few emails smacks of a huge narcissistic "need to feed" off of the vulnerable position of another person. Narcissists are classic in going around and "diagnosing" others once they figure out what PD's are. And they're oh, so quick to point out every flaw and if the person defends themselves...oh, well, that's just another "symptom" and "of course, I knew you were going to do that!" A really great way of dividing the world into their "black and white" thinking. And as there are a number of probable PD's that write to this letter section, I'm surprised you haven't honed your prolific skills in pointing them out. Or are they too similar to you? Too close to home?
Oh, and by the way, PD's are on the way out as a way of diagnosing severely disabling persistent personality traits. The new DSM-V will probably replace most of them with a different criteria based on continuums of traits and features. Why? Because human beings are far too complex to be boxed by a label. Repeat after me, "it's just a label for a medical diagnosis". And rarely do you find person who has all of the criteria for one PD. Their diagnosis often changes from one clinic or therapist to another. And believe me, unfortunate folks who really have a TRUE complete PD are rarely out in the general public. Those folks are severely disabled emotionally and it's more than apparent. Saying they're "high functioning" means they don't meet full criteria. And another thing, all the criteria for BPD, NPD, etc., etc. can be found in the general public. That includes everyone here. So, everyone, go and look in the mirror. All of those personality disorders, they're YOU! The difference is the sheer degree, compulsive and repetitive nature that those criteria are expressed. True PD's are like a seriously broken record on at high speed and extremely high volume.
So, please folks, enough of this on the high-horse personality disorder, diagnostic bullshit. You don't know what you're talking about.
And squeakingwheel, you should go back to school. Or get out of school. Either. Or get out of the agency you work for and see real clients instead of just doing the freaking intake. Because it's obvious you're not a therapist. And if you are, god help your clients.
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And to Cary,
[Read the article: I feel terrible about leaving but I have to go]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]How did it come up that you were insulted by the LW writing to you as a "last resort"? So what? Did it occur to you that this is just a way of speaking and not an insult? Personally, I didn't see it as that until it was pointed out. People say stuff like that all the time just as a way of conversing. And perhaps you should see it as a compliment instead in the sense that you're the LW's final hope as far as advice goes.
And for everyone else, yes, the LW's letter was rather incomplete. Email and letter writing is like that!! People are sometimes too succinct in their writing and don't say or forget to include everything for the sake of brevity. Sometimes we assume the other person knows what we're talking about and forget the important details. We all do this. A letter that told the LW's true story would be pages and pages long. So what that she didn't include all her information the first time. Get real! The way that this woman's letter has been picked apart and the sheer amount of assumptions made, oh and god forbid she should write and defend herself.
And considering you should know all this by now, Cary, I found your reply rather disingenuous, assumptive and to say the least rather callous. It seemed to me you were reading what you wanted to hear between the lines in the LW letter. The vitriol that's been going on here was started off by your lack of a really genuine reply to another human being who, imperfect as her letter-writing might be, imperfect as her all-too-human and forthright confessions might sound, obvious as her answer might be, deserves your creditable response. Oh, that's right, you're running on just fumes. It's Thursday. Too bad! You chose to be in this job so you have a responsibility to your letter writers to respond with some worthy useful information and I might add, compassion.