How am I so certain? Because I have been there personally myself several times and also personally have seen many others also. Professionally I am a therapist and have seen this many, many times. But, on one hand, I don't want use that as some "authority" here but on the other I can't help but see it through past people going through breakups in my office. Will the Ex come back? I have rarely seen that happen...and last. Truly! But that's not really the point. The point is the "secret hope" and grief that keeps this young woman "stuck" in her attachment to this relationship. A relationship that "right now" is no more. This is "what is". This is the REALITY. And hanging on to it, hoping, even remaining friends will not change that. Now who knows in the long-term future? But sitting around waiting for that isn't healthy and it won't make it happen. Period.

People sometimes don't realize how much we indulge in wishful thinking in breakups. I've had clients come in with the craziest ideas as to what minimalist thing the Ex says and that it means they still care when it means nothing. And I gently laugh inside because I remember when I did that, too.

The LW's in the bargaining stage of loss. What she is doing is come up with a way to avoid feeling the pain of the breakup and her feelings of grief completely and also have some sense of denial or the reality of the breakup by staying involved with Ex. But this just prolongs the agony.

Cutting off contact eliminates this denial and one has to feel the pain completely but it also gives one a sense of control. Truly, it really is the best answer, bar none. It reduces and then eliminates the wishful thinking and also the agony. It helps one "grow up" back into one's adult and rational self. There is no one I know or have seen where if the breakup is intensely painful that cutting off contact doesn't help emotionally and make a huge difference right away. That's the point.

Does that mean she should never be friends with her Ex? No. In the future perhaps. But not now. Does that mean there is absolutely no hope for a future romantic relationship? No. But the odds of that are very small. And waiting around for that will not make that happen. As a matter of fact, it will probably guarantee that it wouldn't. Primarily because they are both so young and need the maturity of experience that can only be gained away from each other to make that happen.

Would I have the same opinion if there wasn't a girlfriend in the picture? Yes. If she were 10 years older. Yes. It 's the same problem emotionally (people are all like children within relationships anyway - we don't really grow up). And the other part of this is learning that she can go through a breakup and go on and live her life and it's not the end of the world.

So, all of this and because I have done pretty much exactly what LW has done and learned my lessons from it. Older and wiser. That is my certainty.