Hi LW,

This is what you should do:

1. Quit your job and Pack your bags.

2. Get an airplane ticket home or, if you have the money (make sure you have the money to do this!), to some exotic place you have been wanting to go but haven't gone yet. If you don't have a passport, go some place you have always wanted to go in the States. Maybe someplace you have friends. Or better yet, talk a girlfriend into going with you. Either way, get ready to leave. If you're going to some exotic place, (make sure it's someplace you can feel safe) say for a week or more, after you are through, go home to your family or plan on moving some place else far away from your Ex.

3. Prepare yourself emotionally to leave this situation and your Ex for good. Write your ex a letter/email telling him everything you feel, how you still love him, how hurt you are, how angry you are, etc. Everything. And that you are leaving and don't want to talk to him for a year. That you need to do this to get your head on straight, etc and that if he tries to contact you, you will not reply. After the year is up, if he wants to be friends, HE can then contact you.

4. And then leave both physically and emotionally. On the day that you're ready to fly out, right before you walk out the door, mail the letter/email. If you talk to your ex before this, DO NOT TELL HIM anything about this - you'll rationalize yourself out of doing it by thinking that if you tell him, he'll suddenly come to his senses, etc., etc. This won't happen and it will make it harder.

5. Once you do this, do not contact him in any way. Don't email or phone or text him. Zip. Nothing. If he tries to contact you, don't reply. This must be absolute. Don't feel guilty about this. It's for you, not him.

Make up your mind that once you mail that letter/email, that's it. This last part is painful and difficult to do but if you make up your mind about it and do not contact him, in a couple of months (sometimes weeks) you will feel yourself moving on and letting go. You'll feel a whole lot better. I promise.

The thing here is this, you are trying to hang on to him emotionally by "trying to help him so that he doesn't get hurt in this new relationship". This is sheer projection and rationalization. Face it. You're trying to help yourself not get hurt by this new relationship of his and trying to talk him into coming back in a backhanded kind of way. It's totally understandable and we've all done it. But what you want isn't going to happen. Ex has moved on and Ex can take care of himself at this point. You're job is to take care of yourself and move on, too.

This is a bitch to go through and it hurts terribly. But you will only prolong your pain if you stay and try and be friends with him. It doesn't mean you can't be friends with him later. But not now!

LW, consider this an beautiful opportunity to create and explore the next phase of your life and discover yourself and your true strengths and talents. You are 22 and the world is waiting! It's also an opportunity to find a real love and learn from this relationship. Let go of any feelings of guilt or self-inadequacy, etc. Not worth it. Take the opportunity. Don't look back. GO!