You say that the dean of Harvard Law had met Obama and, therefore, knew he was black. You didn't tell the story of when they met, here it is:

When Obama was in college (I think it was the spring of his junior year) he attended a reception sponsored by LEIBTAB*. Deans from all the top law schools were invited to this reception to meet students like Obama. At the reception, Obama walked up to the dean of Harvard Law School and said, "You know, Dean, I plan to apply to your fine law. The name's Barack Hussein Obama. Come admissions time I hope you'll remember and not these other students like me. Remember: Barack Hussein Obama." The dean met many other students like Obama that day. Normally, the dean has trouble remembering names (his assistant is constantly whispering in his ear) but Obama stood out because the dean had never seen such big ears.

Flash forward. The director of admissions calls the Dean. "Dean," he says, "we have an application from a young man named Barack Hussein Obama. Judging from his name we think he is black but he didn't say in his application. Do you know if he is black?" (The law school had no applicants of Arab descent that year, so they just assumed he was black, you know, like Mohammed Ali?) The dean replied, "Huumm, no, can't say it rings a bell, but let me think." The dean paused a while. "Ah, yes, I met that young man at the LEIBTAB reception. I remember him now because he had those funny ears. Yes, I can confirm for you that he is black." So now we know the real truth - Obama got into Harvard Law because he's black and because he has funny ears.

*Let "Em In Because They Are Black

I would also add a 4th - they probably do not have caller i.d. I use caller i.d. to screen my calls. If a number is an 800 or 866 number I don't answer. If it is a number I do not know, even if in my area code, I do not answer. The machine will get it and if it is someone I want/need to talk to I will call back. Many people, especially older, feel compelled to answer a ringing phone.

P.S. to my mother and mother-in-law: I never use caller i.d. to screen your calls

I am really upset that you got the wrong idea from my letter. You are right, I was being mean: to MVpeach. My letter was intended to lampoon people like MVpeach who continue to believe that Obama only got where he is because he is black and totally ignore the fact that he got where he is because he is very intelligent, very wise, and very capable. I am bummed that it did not come across that way. I would have at least thought that "LEIBTAB" would have given it away. Or that the level of detail would have made one suspicious (how on earth could anyone know that the dean of Harvard law has a bad memory or that in the year Obama applied there were no Arab applicants?) I guess I missed the boat.

Or, maybe you are upset because I made fun of Obama's ears? Two things: he himself goofs on them and I come from a family were many sport goofy ears.

Finally, if you read my other letters you will see that I am an avid Obama supporter. I am also a busy Obama volunteer and have contributed generously to the Obvama campaign.

All I did was fail to write a good piece of satire. No need to rub it in.

To clear things up:

1. There is no group LEIBTAB that invites college students to meet the deans of top law schools

2. As far as I know, the dean of Harvard Law has an excellent memory

3. I made this up: that no students of Arab descent applied to Harvard Law when Obama did

4. The director of admissions did not call the dean of the law school about Obama's application

Here is what is true: Obama got into Harvard on this merits. End of discussion. I was simply trying to make fun of the posters like MVpeach.

But I stand by my statement that Obama has funny ears.