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Sunday, Nov 8, 2009
cecilbeanie
Published Letters: 324 Editor's Choice: 2
I agree with Catherine Price - there is no perfect time to have a baby (BUT 16 is way too young) and parenting is indeed difficult no matter how old you are.
And I completely agree that we must, must find ways to be more supportive of parents: affordable yet high quality day care; move away from the traditional "work-style" model by supporting flexible work schedules, telecommuting, sabbaticals, etc. (I believe that such changes could benefit both employers - improve the bottom line - and employees. I also believe that all employees - parents AND non-parents - should be able to take advantage of these "work-styles".)
As to the question of when to have a child - because my "nest" will be empty in two years I see the issue in those terms, i.e., how old will you be when the kids are out of the house and what will you do?
In two years I'll be 53, one of my sisters (who is 17 months younger than I) had her first at 24 - her 3rd started college this year. Over the last several years, she has successfully ramped up her career. I am at a different place - I "retired" from law and stayed home all these years - a lot of time away from the job,so, who knows what the second half of my life holds for me career-wise. All of us can probably cite people we know who have had babies at different ages and the impact that choice had on their lives, their career paths and their significant relationships.
Gratuitous advice alert (which, unfortunately, applies only to those who have access to quality child care, see, above): when I meet mother's with young kids or women who are contemplating motherhood I tell them to find good quality child care and continue to work full-time while the kids are young. So, you've paid your dues and when the time comes when (I believe) your kids really need you around (from middle school on) hopefully, you'll have the clout to negotiate a more flexible work schedule because those years you put in have made you a valued employee.
It is not selfish to choose not to have a child and it is absurd to say that it is. Many of those who choose to remain childless have probably made the decision after much thought, they know themselves and they know what they do and don't want out of life - that is a good thing not a bad or selfish thing. To choose to have a child or not is a very personal decsion and I do not believe that anyone has the right to pass judgment by saying that one choice is selfish and one is not.
I am a 51 year old woman. I am supporting Obama. I will not let anyone tell me that I must vote for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman. I will not let anyone tell me that Ted Kennedy has betrayed me and all women by endorsing a man. I will exercise my right to vote, as I always have, by voting for the candidate who, in my opinion, will serve this country and ALL its citizens best. I believe that that candidate is Barack Obama. And, for the first time ever, I feel passionately about a presidential candidate - I believe that electing Obama is critical to this nation's future. It is not a woman thing, it is not a black thing, it is a people thing and that we can all get.
It is 100% legitimate for the Obama campaign to call the Clintons on the Jesse Jackson thing and it is not in the least inconsistent with this "post-racial" notion. The intent behind the Jesse Jackson remark was to marginalize Obama's victory in SC AND to marginalize black voters, as follows: doesn't really matter - just a bunch of black folk voting down there - we'll get ours back in the "white" states. Is this racist? Whether or not, it is certainly a divisive use of race and a subtle appeal to white voters who aren't quite ready to be "post-racial." The Clintons played the race card - Obama has every right, no, a duty, to respond.
And, by the way, I was at the AU rally today and Ted Kennedy said nothing but lovely things about Sen. Clinton and Sen. Edwards. In fact, when Sen. Kennedy mentioned Clinton and Edwards some of the kids in the audience hissed/booed a bit. Senator Obama turned their way, gave a subtle hand signal that clearly meant "chill" - and they did, immediately. Very impressive, very Jedi!
Much of the initial coverage about Fort Hood turned out to be wrong. Is there anything wrong with that?
The accountability imposed by another country for the CIA's kidnapping and torture reveals much about our own.
Fox News' morning show plays to type, talking about whether Muslims in the Army should face "special debriefings"
219 Democrats and one Republican join in favor of the legislation, which passed by a narrow margin
The survivor and author is upset about comparisons some on the right are making to genocide
Salon headlines in your mailbox
