Letters to the Editor
mattwa33186
Published Letters: 432 Editor's Choice: 45
-
Professor
[Read the article: Hitting a wall on immigration]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It isn't hatred of immigrants, its intolerance of people who are stealing from us.
If you are willing to do away with welfare, public schools, public housing, food stamps, and medicaid, along with whatever other government assistance programs illegals qualify for as soon as they have a kid, then we will be back to the same situation we were in 100 years ago. But no, uber liberals want to open the borders and legalize all illegals at the same time they want to implement nationalized health care and let our high paying jobs go to other immigrants. Who, exactly, is going to pay for all this? Maybe Captain Jean Luc Picard, because until such time as we are able to produce luxury apartments and free food for all at no cost to anyone, we simply can't afford the egalitarian socialist paradise you seem to think we can. That's what makes the last 40 years different from the previous 250. Not the number of immigrants, but the cost to society of those immigrants.
Am I somehow obligated to provide a home, food, an education, and healthcare for anyone who decides to make the trip here? Has the Constitution beem amended to secure the rights and privileges of citizenship for anyone who can manage to cross a river in the middle of the night or pass an 8th grade math class in Bangalore?
It would be nice if we could take care of everyone who wants to come here, but we can't.
-
But -
[Read the article: Hitting a wall on immigration]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your ancestors (and mine) didn't ask for or receive any assistance from the government. They worked, depended on the charity of others, or starved.
See the difference?
-
This is not a secret
[Read the article: My boyfriend is nice, but I fantasize about wilder times]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]He knows. He knows you have doubts, and he has them too if for no other reason than he knows you have them. He knows he isn't as educated as you or your friends, and maybe not as sophisticated. He knows he doesn't know anything about art. He knows he's not exciting and that you are attracted to that.
And because he knows all these things, and he loves you, he's playing to his strengths and not taking any chances. He's not bullshitting you, pretending to be a great art lover for your sake. He's just doing what he can to make you happy and hoping its enough, and so far it almost has been. He may be afraid to look stupid in front of you, which keeps him from trying to learn about what you do. So one question is, do you make him feel like it's safe to take chances with you?
Another is about your art. I'm not an art expert, but -
Have you ever tried to reach him through your art? Him specifically? I've always felt that there is no one who doesn't love art, only those who don't love art yet.
Are you compensating for your perceived distance from the art world by doing things that are overly technical and intellectual and sophisticated just to show you still can?
Are you painting from your heart? If you are, and he loves you, its hard to believe he wouldn't see that and love your work as well.
Are you able to talk about art with him without making him feel dumb? Are you able to make him feel like his opinion matters? Does it matter?
However you answer those questions, the important thing is why you came up with those answers. Maybe its because you don't love him, or maybe its because you haven't tried hard enough.
The last question is the biggest, I think. You say you miss the days when you were a promiscuous, risk taking artist with lots of sophisitacated artist friends. You need to ask yourself if you liked the person you were, and if you would like her now. Did you really like the friends you had then, or did you just like the fact that they made you feel sophisticated and worldly? Were you happy then?
I can tell you that finding someone who always has your back is very hard to do. And for me at least, that counts for more than anything else in a relationship. He is giving you an incredible gift. If you can't return it (and from your letter it sounds like you haven't been) you need to break it off because not doing so would be selfish and wrong, and he deserves better.