Letters to the Editor
anonny
Published Letters: 124 Editor's Choice: 13
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A good idea that took a few iterations to get right
[Read the article: Where are your children?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I remember when it started out my then-employer, who used to be one of Silicon Valley's most enlightened employers, got totally into it. They recognized that there were lots of situations where the kids would get in the way, or even create hazards, so they assigned an HR rep to set up a whole program and announced it a month in advance. You signed your kid up, and they would take care of them for most of the day. The HR folks went out of their way to make it fun -- most of the kids asked to come back.
The first year was, of course, for daughters but even then the company opened it up to sons. By the second year they'd changed the name.
My kids were too young then (lower age limit of the company-sponsored day was 7), and by the time they were old enough I was out of that company and in the startup world. Later I would take a kid into work on school "in service" days when it didn't conflict with my schedule. The kids would sit quietly while I ran meetings (everything was by conference phone then) and go with me to the company cafeteria. They all had fun, and did walk away with an appreciation of where their money came from, and how important school was to them getting a good salary later in life.
All in all it seems a good idea if you plan ahead properly.
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Don't see a lawyer -- yet
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]At least not right away.
Yes, most of the people here are probably right that he's met someone else -- either an affair or someone he's strongly interested in.
Here's the thing, unless you get wildly lucky the lawyer will complicate your life, not help. The lawyer will also somehow find a way to drain your savings in the process.
You can't know now if divorce is in the cards, but you can take steps now to make the divorce process infinitely easier than it normally is. Typically the divorcing couple goes through stages: discussion, counseling, then divorce. The problem is that all the counseling tends to create hard feelings and to harden each person's positions and attitudes. In many cases, a divorcing spouse will become angry and make the divorce negotiation process difficult out of spite, even though he/she knows dragging it out is costing him/her a lot of money and hurting the kids.
You can avoid that if you take advantage of your husband's mood now and nail down the divorce agreement. Sit down with him and say "I really don't want to do this, but if we do let's make it as painless as possible for the kids." In most cases the husband will be relieved that you are making the process easy for him and, feeling grateful, will tend to agree to lots of concessions. Get agreement on who-keeps-what, child sharing arrangements, child support, etc. Write it down so you can both remember, and get him to sign. THEN take that to a lawyer and say "we've agreed, how can we do this as simply as possible".
Of course, you probably don't want the divorce, but by doing this you create a win-win situation for yourself. On the one hand, your husband is confronted with the reality of the divorce, and there is a chance he'll feel regret and reconsider. Better that he figures this out now before he sinks $20k on a divorce lawyer, or before he has yelling arguments with you in front of kids. On the other hand, he may really want a divorce and will go through with it. In that case, by negotiating now you've saved your whole family a lot of pain, and probably gotten a much better financial deal for the kids.
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Obama is ...
[Read the article: The Democrats' God problem]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In the Wright controversy Obama is labeled an extremist black Christian. If you go to TownHall.com you can also find columns claiming he is a) a Muslim and b) a Marxist.
I'm not clear how he can be a Muslim, an extremist Christian, and a Marxist (atheist) at the same time, but some how the right wing thinks he can.
I miss logic.
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What does this say about America's future?
[Read the article: So long, Canada]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've crossed hundreds of borders on various continents over the years, 1st, 2nd and 3rd world countries. While the US border police behaviors are still far from what the East Germans used to practice, they have become the worst I've seen anywhere outside the old Communist bloc. My biggest complain previously was slowness and occasional rudeness -- but the US border guards have gotten an overdose of authoritarianism. Even the TSA, as ridiculous as they are, have at least been given some politeness pills lately.
One concern I have is that there appears to be a connection between how authoritarian the border guards are and to what degree that country is a police state. In the US the border guards are apparently not governed by the bill of rights (not sure why, but no one ever seems to assert their 1st or 4th amendment rights when being told to strip search), so they act in any way their management allows. Although US police haven't adopted such extreme behaviors yet, I suspect that the Bush administration (as well as a potential McCain administration) wouldn't mind if they did. And that is scary.
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"Well, first of all, obviously they would have to."
[Read the article: Quote of the day]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's good to be a conservative. You don't have to worry about facts, you just assert whatever you want to be true, and the press doesn't bother checking.
"Obviously", it is the opposite. As Krugman points out, when you have a good with very low short-term price elasticity and fixed supply (refineries are at full capacity in the summer) the price will rise to the level of demand -- take the tax out of the equation and the price rises to compensate.
Even conservatives, whose undestanding of economics usually doesn't extend past the first half of Microeconomics 101, should get this.