Letters to the Editor
rodian
Published Letters: 134 Editor's Choice: 9
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someone else
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]BTW, I think it's a bit presumptuous of folks to assume that the LW's husband has found someone else. But the LW's situation does seem to bear some resemblance to that of other posters who had exactly that experience. It's not so hard to understand, really.
If you get divorced, you have to split up. Live in two different places. Who can afford that? Not many. So is it really any great surprise that the great moment of truth often happens to arrive when there's a financially viable alternative (moving in w/ someone else)?
In other words, the feelings may have been there for a long time. But it's rather pointless, needlessly hurtful, to express them when it is impossible to act on them. In other words, the significant other is not the catalyst, not the reason, and making that person the scapegoat is probably just a way of failing to confront reality.
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@tina
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Not that it's any of your business, but I've told my wife exactly how I feel. She chooses to pretend the words that come out of my mouth have no meaning. Consequently, I choose to pretend, for the sake of my children mostly, that all is well. It's clear where this is all heading, but I'm not going to turn my children's home into Beirut to satisfy some twittering Salon poster. Deny my wife's professional objectives? Ha. You know nothing at all. I want nothing more. While I "pile up cash"? Can you remind me please where I put that? Thank you for coming to the defense of my poor helpless blindsided wife, but the reach of your keyboard clearly exceeds your grasp.
BTW, the only decent food around the house is, in fact, the food I cook. If I pick up any more of the responsibilities around here, my poor long suffering wife won't really have anything to do at all. Poor thing.
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@tina
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]...who is tilting at windmills. You paint a very damning picture of me and nurk_2. Based on nothing but your imagination. And then you point out what assholes we are. Based on your imaginary portrait. I'm not going to waste time with your straw man arguments, other than to point out that they are ridiculous. I would also point out that if you are claiming I do in fact resemble your imaginary portrait, I consider that defamatory. You better watch it.
I do, in fact, sympathize with the LW. I agree with the majority who feel that her husband is a jerk to be pulling this crap two weeks after a baby was born. OTH, I'm sure people have said and done much worse in the sleep-deprived weeks and months following the arrival of a newborn. And I also agree with those who think it would be foolish for all concerned to make a life changing decision about marriage during such trying circumstances. Selfish interests need to be put aside for a bit until everyone is able to catch their breath.
What bothers me about the tenor of the letters is the lynch mob mentality directed at the husband. We know little to nothing about this relationship, yet people want to "kick him in the balls", sick the lawyers on him, and otherwise condemn him, sans trial or evidence, to a miserable fate.
People with children get divorced. And here's the big news Tina and Co.: it's not always the man's fault. I've already talked about myself more than I want to, and I'm done with that, but believe me, there are damn good reasons to get out of a marriage, children or not.
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@nurk_2
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm not siding with the LW's husband or the LW herself. I'm not siding with either one because I haven't a clue what the situation really is. Neither does anyone else on this board, but there sure are a lot of strong opinions about what the situation really is and what should happen. Ridiculous.
I was simply trying to point out that things can be more complicated than they appear, and also that I believe that marriage for it's own sake isn't really good for anybody. Since I'm struggling with some of these issues myself, I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring and talk about it a bit; but all I've managed to do is attract the attention of that ignorant know-it-all Tina. Oh well.
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@tina
[Read the article: My husband of 12 years suddenly says he never loved me]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You go girl! Married with children, and you left?! I'm only thinking about it, talking it out, trying to work on things, but you actually did it. And then you have the temerity to call _me_ an asshole. Wow.
Was that hard on your husband? The kids? If so, how could you do such a thing? If not, well, maybe you weren't as valuable to have around as you make out.
Now that that's out there, maybe you should stop being such a f'g hypocrite, hmmm?
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raise the gas tax
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Gas tax holiday so we can "feel better"? Pulease. We don't need to "feel better", we need a good collective smack upside the head with a clue stick. It's not just the US that wants all the world's oil anymore. And we're not the only giant economy around either. And it's not an infinite resource. And if we don't find alternatives soon, we'll have much bigger problems than an uncomfortable gas bill. We should be taxing the bejeezus out of gasoline, and using the proceeds to invest in alternative energy and conservation.
On a different note, I must have missed the punch line. Aren't all the women in the cartoon equally beautiful?
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@electro robot
[Read the article: Opus]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If you think continuing to encourage reliance on oil with gimmick that doesn't amount to a pittance will help the working poor, you are seriously deluded. The working poor need an alternative to oil more than anybody.
In Europe, where the price of gasoline is at least double what we pay, the working poor have been driven into the sea I suppose. Correct?