Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 228 Editor's Choice: 9
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@Allie - Honestly, "sweetie" is not a general insult. Really.
[Read the article: Quote of the Day: Barack Obama ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There's no doubt there's a lot of serious sexism issues to deal with in the world. This is not one of them. Honestly, even it *was* an issue, it's not even anywhere near the top.
Now, as a man, you could say I'm biased. But I can see from reading the letters here, that quite a few women don't see this statement by Osama as being that bad. Seems like about half.
Whereas, according to Allie who posted here,
Imagine if he'd called a black man "boy." That's about the same level of targeted insult in a professional situation.
I disagree utterly. Here's why.
- I'm not a black man, and I know that calling a black man "boy" is insulting.
- I'm pretty sure that if you asked a group of black men if "boy" was insulting, they'd unanimously agree it was.
So,
1) I don't see how saying "sweetie" in a professional situation is automatically a sexist insult - I've heard it in formal and informal contexts
2) almost none of the other men here think it's insulting
3) roughly half of the women here don't think it's insulting either
So, if there's no consensus, then how can "sweetie" be some sort of known and public insult?
And, what is the fascination with **words**? How about getting this riled up about poor pregancy rates, domestic abuse, salary inequality, or any other **real** issues that affect women?
It makes me I wonder if a lot of the anger at this "proof of sexism" by Obama, is due in part to the fact that he's jsut about killed Hillary's Presidential hopes.
He's defeating the Good Woman, therefore he's a Bad Man? Is that the real sexism that's going on here, on some womens' parts?
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@ Juliebird
[Read the article: Quote of the Day: Barack Obama ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Metasailor: just because you don't find something insulting doesn't mean it isn't.
OK. And just because you find something insulting, doesn't mean it automatically is.
That's fair, right?
So, if neither your opinion *nor* mine are holy writ, we have to go by social consensus. And if the consensus on "sweetie" isn't even clear among women then it's not something that's automatically publicly insulting.
Richard Pryor used the n word in his comedy routines, and while many people weren't bothered by it, many were.
This metaphor doesn't track at all. Richard Pryor was black. Do you honestly think that if any white person used the n word towards a black person, there would be any question it was racist? (Hint: Michael Richards.)
I think "50%" of the women you polled being miffed at it is a good indicator that the term isn't a smart choice in professional settings.
OK, sure. But "sweetie" not being a smart choice, is separate from "sweetie" being an automatic demeaning sexist insult.
(because I can not imagine a context where two straight, non-family-related men address each other as "Sweetie")?
That doesn't track either, because man-to-man is not a sexist context. In that context, it would just be a head-scratcher.
Your equation on HRC supporters as being racist because they are irked at being called "Sweetie" loses me completely.
That's because I'm **not calling* HRC supporters racist. I'm wondering if they're being **sexist**.
I'm questioning if a lot of the women who are so upset at Obama for saying "sweetie", are upset at Obama for *sexist* reasons. Resenting him as a man, because he has defeated the woman who could be president.
And for the record, I'll vote for Hillary in the general if she somehow pulls off the miracle of being nominated.
And calling a reporter "Sweetie" was a screw-up.
Sure, which is why Obama apologized. I'm just saying it's not automatically sexist, and it's not secret proof he's a sexist, and most importantly it's not anything close to any kind of a serious issue.
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@ AKA Smith
[Read the article: Quote of the Day: Barack Obama ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If half a group of people think that it is wrong to be called a particular word in a particular setting, then good manners requires that you refrain from calling them that.
Sure. In this context, Obama's use of the phrase was accidentally offensive, for which he apologized.
The point here is not just sexism....Calling professional women sweetie is not only sexist, it is condescending.
OK, well it seems to me that you consider it condescending, *because* you consider it sexist.
But moving on, my point to you is that 'sweetie' is not automatically universally sexist, and 'sweetie' is not automatically universally condescending.
Do you understand that if almost none of the men, and probably half of the women here aren't offended by it, then it isn't automatically and universally sexist?
Said another way:
1. You consider calling someone "sweetie" in a professional setting as automatically and universally sexist.
2. About half of the women posting here don't agree.
3. This being Salon, these women are, if anything, probably more liberal and progressive than a sample of mainstream American women.
4. Therefore - using "sweetie" in a professional setting is probably not universally and automatically sexist, all other things being equal.
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@Juliebird - duh?
[Read the article: Quote of the Day: Barack Obama ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]But, a high-status (and non-Southern!!!) male calling a professional woman he doesn't know, but with whom her has a professional relationship (in that he is a candidate and she is a reporter, ad they were meeting while each was performing their job), "sweetie" is demeaning, and "sweetie" is sexist
Juliebird, I am *including* in a professional context. I guess I'll be explicit about it:
- using "sweetie" in a professional context, from a man and towards a woman, *is not* in and of itself automatically sexist.
BECAUSE:
1. for the phrase "sweetie" to be automatically and universally sexist in a professional context, there would *at least* have to be a high majority of women who find it sexist ***in this professional context***, AND
2. From the sampling of women here, who are looking at the exact same usage and context you are - there IS NOT such a majority of women who find it sexist **in a professional context**.