Steven Augustine,

You make an interesting argument about post-sexualism, and making sex less important, and you mock women who think their sex lives are incredibly important, so, do you think that this should also apply to men (demoting sex and sexual pleasure to something slightly above a back rub)? You don't seem to talk about it. It's always easy to ask of other people to change for your benefit (though i really don't see how faking orgasms is for anyone's benefit, but whatever). If sex is so unimportant, then would you be willing to stop caring about it, and replace it with non-trivial things?

plus, even if weldon actually feels this way about her sexuality ("having a serious career and making lots of money and concentrating on the getting of power is far more liberating and pleasurable for a woman, in the end, than obsessing on a bodily spasm"), why does that mean that that is the right formula for all women, or, all people?

Jonathan Mason,

You say some nice things, like "we will end up happier by being nice to one another than we will by putting our own needs first," but for some reason, you, and pretty much everyone else, instinctively demands the self-sacrificing and virtuousness from women more so than from men.

Tyler,

"Dr." Laura says many wonderfully mysogynist and misandrist things in the book:

-men are very simple creature

-men want the three K's: cooking, cleaning church, and sex. That's all they really want, and you should do all of it to get to a happy marriage.

-wives drive husbands to affairs. it's not the husbands' fault.

-in fact, just don't criticize him. remember, he's a "simple creature" with simple emotions and needs, there's no need to disparage him. it will just drive him away.

-women need men to be happy, and men are helpless without women

-women just want to spend money, and if you take care of your husband's basic needs, you'll get it.

So, in conclusion, men and women shouldn't have discussions or shared interests, or an actual relationship, just a quid pro quo, because all men want is to not do housework and nooky, and all women want is money, so you can it all!

Right, Tyler, what's not to like?

Why don't you write a letter to Cary, asking him how to get into contact with all the women who write in about their loser significant others, with all the tirades and accoutrements you usually include in your rants?

Something like:

"Dear Cary,

All women hate nice guys like me. Also, they're all gold-digging, guy-dumping, slutty, stupid whores.

Pretty women don't want to go out with me.

The only woman i find attractive is lesbian Camille Paglia. Please advise.

Best wishes,

Brighstar65"

I would pay money to see Cary's response.

men are ALSO free to NOT be reduced to a single part of their bodies nor over-value that trivial bodily spasm and so be free, FREE, I tell you, to go on and focus on career and the getting of power and money and...

But why are you saying that men and women can either (1) not lie about orgasms and absolutely love and enjoy sex, OR (2) focus on career and the getting of power and money?

Why do you, and Weldon, think that you can't have both? Why is the enjoyment of sex, the desire to have fulfilling sex, necessarily mean the reduction of a person to a single part of his/her body? We are multi-faceted people, after all, no? I love Proust AND Quake 4. Just like i can focus on my career, and have great sex.

(laugh)

Ooooh, you know about Italo Calvino. But i read him in Italian. Or perhaps you want to discuss the relative merits of Chaim Potok vs. Ismail Kadare for the nobel prize? Le sigh.

And, I'm not a native american, so to accuse me of typical american anti-intellectualism or whatever, is kind of silly.