Letters to the Editor
LeCastor
Published Letters: 1916 Editor's Choice: 86
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Re: Anonymous
[Read the article: The 30-year-old virgins]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As for "maybe I'm just not interested in sex," I really don't feel the need to justify my sex drive to you, as it's none of your business.
Look, i'm not trying to attack you at all. I think this is really intersting, and i really want to move beyond my initial reaction and understand. That's why i'm asking you these questions. Thank you for taking the time to reply. I realize it's actually none of my business, so i appreciate that you're sharing your experience.
Now bring on the "you're bitter and weird with issues and cats" posts! (for the record: slightly bitter, slightly weird, of course I have issues, but no cats).
Argh! The whole point is that, for those of us who didn't have loving, wonderful relationships in college, it's as if our "sell-by dates" have passed, and "people look at us weird" for not having had sex. Why is it so hard to believe that some people do not have relationships in college? Even the article mentioned that college today is a hookup culture, and for those who are shy, not-aggressive, etc., they might not be comfortable just hooking up with people.
I'm younger than you, so I imagine i went to college more recently, but i had a few long-term relationships in college, in spite of the hookup culture. I have to admit that i wouldn't describe myself as shy, but i am not into frat parties or beer pong either. I knew plently of low-key shy guys too. It's not like all men in all colleges are shot-slamming, ass-grabbing jock-assholes.
And as for the "why did you go to a women's college?" argh again. Well, I can say that I didn't go to college to meet men, that's for sure. Was that wrong? Was that horribly sinful of me?
No, of course not. But here's what i'm trying to understand, you didn't even have a kiss in high school, you were 17 or 18, ostensibly brimming with hormones, and you didn't want to meet men? This is why i suggested, with absolutely no meanness intended, that maybe you simply aren't very intersted in relationships or sex. There's nothing wrong with that.
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Miss Popularity? Hardly
[Read the article: The 30-year-old virgins]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]>...you didn't even have a kiss in high school, you were 17 or 18, ostensibly brimming with hormones, and you didn't want to meet men? This is why i suggested, with absolutely no meanness intended, that maybe you simply aren't very intersted in relationships or sex.<
Why do you think that the "hormonal teenager" is the standard for everyone? That's the same annoying mindset that claims introverts and loners are unnatural because they don't want to socialize as much "as everyone else does." And you are sounding as if you _do_ think this is weird, even though from the sound of responses on here, it's a fairly common occurence. Not everyone grows up as Miss Popularity; not everyone lives life in a teen pix. In fact, I would bet good money the number of people who don't vastly outnumber those who do...
-- deering
Oh, c'mon, I wasn't saying that it's "weird" to not lose your virginity by the end of high school (although i guess the average age is 17), i was just talking about a first kiss. FIRST KISS!!! You don't have to be Miss Popularity to have a first kiss by the start of college, please. I think most people have had a first kiss by the age of 17. That's all I'm saying.
And then someone wrote this:
who act shocked when you tell them you never had sex in high school or college. We're not all blessed with the courage or ability to flirt with the opposite sex, let alone actually convince a person to have sex with us. I'm not a bad-looking guy (you'll have to trust me on this), but I've rarely been invited to parties or had other occassions to "pick up" women. I've just always been too shy.
Okay, fine, you don't invited to parties, but rarely "had other occassions to pick up women"? What about the 4 years' worth of college classes you attended, or the cafeteria?
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Amy
[Read the article: The 30-year-old virgins]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Needless to say, speak for yourself on everything you jsut said.
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I get it, don't worry.
[Read the article: The 30-year-old virgins]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LeCastor why do you and so many women just not get it.
A man can't pick someone up until AFTER he has developed the ability to put himself accross. Women WILL NOT respond to an awkward, uncomfortable approach, they just will not. A physically adequate woman can be awkward and men will still tolerate her, an equivalent man will not be sexually tolerated.
-- anon
Really, because if that's true, why do i see so many "odd-looking " or "awkward, uncomfortable" people hand in hand walking down the street? I live in NYC, there are lot those out and about.