I had no idea what "Burning Man" was, but I noticed another reference on Salon. Marisa Belger, who wrote the article on nearly divorcing her husband because he lost his job (some nerve), met him at Burning Man. After reading this letter and Belger's article, and then checking the Burning Man site, I'd have to call "attended Burning Man" a big red flag. From the site:

"Burning Man is radically inclusive, and its meaning is potentially accessible to anyone. The touchstone of value in our culture will always be immediacy: experience before theory, moral relationships before politics, survival before services, roles before jobs, embodied ritual before symbolism, work before vested interest, participant support before sponsorship. Finally, in order to accomplish these ends, Burning Man must endure as a self-supporting enterprise that is capable of sustaining the lives of those who dedicate themselves to its work. From this devotion spring those duties that we owe to one another. We will always burn the Man."

LW: you say this:

"I don't know how long people will tolerate this or if I'm doing damage to my kids. I know I damaged my relationship with my wife this way. But I don't want to stop. This seems like a much better way to deal with the problems of life that I can't control. The only other alternative is to give in, accept it. And I won't do that. It feels like losing."

Yes, you're doing damage to your kids. You've already damaged your relationship with your wife - but she's an adult and can find someone else.

Isn't the mental health of your children enough incentive to stop acting like a 7-year-old?

Your behavior is guaranteeing that your children will have difficulty in relationships and in the workplace (where things often don't go our way).

I take it you are white. You sound white. Do you ever notice, as you drive through your city, that lots of lower income people, many of them black - are standing around in the rain and snow waiting for buses that are 20 minutes late - while you breeze by in your car?

They're fed up, too.

If you honestly believe that maturity, civility and grace are the equivalent of "giving in," my recommendation is to set up therapy funds for each of your kids, and make sure they spend summer vacations with aunts, uncles or other adults who are respectful of others.

This way, they'll get to see an alternative to rude, disrespectful behavior and will not grow up to simply be tolerated like their father - but genuinely liked and respected.