Sometimes you can only find your intuition when you observe yourself.

Read this, for example:

"...we were a staunchly agnostic family and my parents taught me to value reason and logic above all. Faith and feeling were not a large part of any family dialogue..."

I wouldn't imagine that one of your parents could possibly have written this, let alone ever thought it. You are likely a different type of person; you are probably more enlightened than they.

You don't care as much about minutia and argument as your parents. You seem to care more about substantive, intangible things.

The reason you are probably so hesitant to listen to your intuition is that it conflicts with the values with which you were raised.

I know what you mean when you say:

"Faith and feeling were not a large part of any family dialogue..."

Even though your parents may have been loving and likely gave you all the material things you could want, you were impoverished on some level.

It doesn't mean you had bad parents. Like all parents, they couldn't give you everything you needed.

Watch what you gravitate toward. When I had doubts about my current relationship, I looked around at my house. My beloved's photo was in a spot where I could see it each day, and I loved to look at it. All the silly gifts and postcards he'd sent me over the years were also displayed. I never once wanted to remove these items. I studied how I felt in his presence, and I watched how much time I wanted to spend with him.

Get in touch with your intution by observing yourself, what you do, what you enjoy, and your surroundings. These things may look nothing like what your family enjoys or surrounds itself with. My intuition tells me that you feel it's disloyal to your family for you to go your own way. I sense that by having read what you wrote.

It is incredibly common to catastrophize (a real word I hadn't known) before a trip. My sister does it, a former boyfriend did it, I've done it. Definitely, absolutely go. Get a prescription for Ativan or something to calm you down for the trip there, but I bet you won't even need it. You will have SO much fun. The anxiety will dissipate once you get there. Have a great time. You will give so many people so much pleasure with your music.

Scavok (?) had the best response. These people are married. It's possible they're not ready to get a divorce.

If they still have 'issues,' the issues will resurface w/their new partners. It sounds like these people each found new partners in quite a hurry.

Nothing wrong w/having a new partner, but because they've both managed to get something going within 8 months of the separation, I imagine they each went partner shopping online and found someone.

I'm not sure if these people need to get a divorce. Why not just separate for an actual period of time - say 9 months - *without* talking? Those new partners may look a lot different by then, and the spouses may start lookin' good....

Here's what Scavok says:

---It never ceases to amaze me how unaware of themselves these people can be.

Doesn't he hear himself?:

My wife and I separated about eight months ago. It was as amicable as these things can be (in other words, it was still awful, and it hurt like hell), and we'd left open the possibility of getting back together at some point in the future. We talk frequently, and we have dinner or go out for drinks once or twice a week. We both have some serious issues to work out with ourselves, and it just wasn't working together. We needed some time apart to work things out.

So you "talk frequently, and we have dinner or go out for drinks once or twice a week"? You've "left open the possibility of getting back together at some point in the future"?

I've got news for you guys: you aren't separated. YOU'RE STILL MARRIED.

You're not taking "time apart" to work out your issues. Talking on the phone every day and wining/dining together several times a week (I assume that, as usual, the LW is either minimizing or lying) isn't "time apart".

You're emotionally joined at the hip. You have new relationships "at" each other (toy relationships that can easily be discarded)....---

I deleted out the harsh, ranting, raving stuff scavok said (everyone needs an editor) and kept his/her point. I think scavok is right.