I took "once in a lifetime" job that I had serious reservations about when I was 39. If I told you the position and title, you'd definitely want to talk to me at a cocktail party. But guess what. It didn't involve a move, but it involved doing something that I knew in my heart wasn't right, even though I had been professionally ambitious.

To make a long story short, the job was horrible, as I sensed it might be. It was the beginning of a life change, where I finally realized the only good decisions are made from within. Good decisions are not about money and status (altho they can be, but only IF your heart is in them).

Fast forward to today: I followed my heart on all fronts. I moved to my home city - something I couldn't do for a job and personal reasons for many years. And guess what, it took several years, but I now, once again, have among the best jobs in my field.

I had no idea I would fall upon such a job, or that my employer would be in driving distance from my home.

The bad, wildly impressive-sounding job at 39 that I didn't really want turned my life around - because I started following my heart then and there. You might argue I needed the bad move. I'm not so sure. Like you, I had a pretty impressive resume up until 39.

I can't believe anyone ever goes wrong from following their heart.

Just because something is offered doesn't mean it's better than what you have. It just means that the person offering the job is in a bind or is short-staffed or has a position to fill within a certain amount of time. It's more about them trying to fix a problem they have than you being offered the opportunity of a lifetime (unless it clearly is...).

Say you were headed to a breeder to pick out a Golden Retriever puppy - something you'd wanted for years; it was the type of dog you grew up with. On the way to the kennel, someone asked you if you'd like a Standard Poodle instead. Would you run to the nearest computer or library to find out why Standard Poodles might just be a better choice than a Golden Retriever?

You should ask yourself why you would move when you:

Don't have to

Don't want to

What is it about an "offer" in and of itself that is so enticing?

I realize I'm in the 5 percent, 1 percent? I particularly agree with the few people who said that, sometimes, someone "better" does not come along for either party.

I have been like the LW's girlfriend my entire life, and I'm now close to 50. My partner did not say he would "wait" for me, but he poured out his heart to me when I wanted to leave, and told me not that this is "as good as it gets," but to look long and hard about what is extraordinarily unique in the relationship. Had this happened to me in my 20s, I may have stuck with the love I had back then and not spent my life searching for "the one."

I find this sentiment from goodlookingout poignant:

"To the LW: take Carey's advice. Even expressing the sweetness of your feelings could reignite her interest if she's truly available for you. And if she's not, find out sooner than later."

If he expresses his feelings to her about simply *wanting* to "wait," he doesn't truly need to wait for her. What he accomplishes is conveying the depth of his feelings. Indeed, her feelings may be reignited - if they were once there. The LW who wrote about the disastrous divorce never indicated she had strong feelings about her first husband in the first place.

I left my relationship and returned several months later when I realized I agreed with nearly everything my love had been saying to me. Of course my man could have chosen not to take me back, but he chose to, and it didn't hurt his dignity or diminish him in my eyes.

In fact, I gained respect for him; he is a man who knows the meaning of love and loyalty - something I didn't truly understand until he taught me by example what loyalty is made of.

If the girlfriend doesn't find the LW's feelings/insights meaningful, she will leave and they will go their separate ways. *But* she may just remember his words, and she may come back. That doesn't mean he has to literally "wait" for her, but the ending may be the one he wants. And if she leaves with his words on her mind, she might decide that coming back to him is the ending she wants, too.

I think all I need to know about Michaele Weissman is contained in this sentence:

"Actually, my husband, the physicist, makes my coffee in the morning."

It sounds like those NY Times wedding announcements..."The groom's mother is Gloria Jones, the artist."

I get Picasso, the artist, or Richard Feynman, the physicist. If her husband was a fuss-budgety manager of 7/11 stores, I doubt we'd hear about his profession...

I don't know...it's a small detail, but it's all in the details...is it not?