Who says 6-year-olds don't have sexual feelings? Who says they have NO idea what sex is? Why do we presume such innocence? Sure, there are some parents who create sterile little Barney Worlds for their children, and that's nice. But my guess is that the average 6-year-old in this country gets a significant amount of exposure to provocative language and imagery just by watching television alongside his or her parents. Maybe, too, he or she listens to older siblings or neighborhood kids and, perhaps, begins experimenting--trying out some of the sexually aggressive behaviors he's seen or heard about. Did this kid innocently slide two fingers into her waistband in the same innocent way that he would slide his fingers into Barney's hand while at play? Or was he acting more aggressively and with at least some knowledge of the meaning of his act? Obviously, none of us saw what happened, so it's difficult to judge about the appropriateness of the punishment. I can certainly imagine scenarios, however, in which I would judge the boy's behavior to have been sexual in nature...and certainly harrassing. In our culture we love to think of children as these innocent little creatures, but many times that just isn't the case. I think we need to leave room for the possibility that this was one of those times, and that the school reacted justly to a disturbing set of circumstances.

Googled the news story, and admit that the description of the incident and its handling do sound a bit over the top. Based solely on what I read in the news stories (which may or may not be wholly factual), I agree that I wish this boy had experienced a very different outcome.

Now, to answer the questions posed to me by "pookastew":

>But my guess is that the average 6-year-old in this country gets a significant amount of exposure to provocative language and imagery...

>

>I have to ask: is it a guess because you haven't got a six-year-old of your own, and have no real experience?

I said it was a guess because I have no way of determining what is going on with the entire population of 6-year-olds in the U.S. My statement was based primarily on the sample of children I have seen while working in the mental health system. It's true, "pookastew"--there happen to be many, many parents in this country who aren't nearly as careful with their children as you are. (BTW, before you complain that I'm celebrating damaging one's children, I'm not saying this is a good thing for the children--just the contrary.)

>I can certainly imagine scenarios, however, in which I would judge the boy's behavior to have been sexual in nature...

>

>What has your imagination to do with this?

What an oblique question. Because I used the word "imagine" in my statement, it seems a bit odd that you would ask. I think, however, that you were trying to imply that I have a dirty mind or some such thing--an overly active imagination, perhaps. Yes? Sadly, my imaginings are based on my own childhood experiences and observations of some other children at that age.

I've already granted that if this story is true as it's being told in the media, it's unfair to the boy. Can you grant that there might be situations in which a 6-year-old boy could be behaving in a sexually inappropriate manner toward a female classmate? Whatever you'd want to label that kind of behavior, in my opinion it should be dealt with seriously. That's all I'm saying.

Ditto the previous poster's sentiment. I grew up in Pasadena, which turned out to have been among the most multiculturally-integrated suburbs imaginable--at least for those of us who attended Pasadena's public schools. It wasn't until many years later that I began to recognize how rare that experience was. Even now, when I speak with people I knew at some point in grade school/high school, we reflect on that aspect of our upbringing and give thanks for our good fortune to have had that kind of exposure during our formative years. When you grow up with friends, acquaintances, and enemies from every "racial" group, you live/learn the lesson that racial stereotypes are not only harmful and dehumanizing, but also useless.

Almost as much as I'm sick of white anger and obliviousness when faced with the issue of racism, I'm tired of hearing about white guilt. Being immobilized by guilt isn't helping to end racism, it's just another form of self-absorbtion. It's not solely the job of people of color to constantly confront and combat racism. White people who acknowledge the problem of racism also need to take action, speak up, and assume the risk of social stigma and censure that comes with confronting it.