"if John McCain had been the candidate at a time when non-Hispanic whites were the overwhelming majority of the voters, he would be president now."

In what universe? Okay, I'm nit-picking now. But if you people want to plan effectively, besides mastering percents and whatnot, you need to get a grip on the way time works. If he got elected in 1976, well, who the heck knows. But I wonder if he would of invaded Grenada or not. Probly, huh?

I'm sorry, this is dopey. Barack was only a kid back then, how you expect him to beat some fighter pilot? On the other hand, Jimmy Carter ... better grades at Annapolis, that's for sure, and only one marriage.

Oh no. The worm hole is sucking me in. Jettison the red matter and put all power to the dog and pony show! Stand on it, Scotty. Photon torpedoes on stun! All balls to the wall!

See you in the movies, y'all.

I don't care if it's F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I just don't want to talk to 'em now.

Yeah, that's pretty harsh, all right, inviting that white cop to the White House for a beer.

What's he going to do next, target all the Polacks with a barbecue bomb?

I refuse to -- well, okay. Maybe one rib. And some slaw.

Sheesh.

Out-of-control demonstrators alienated a lot of people in the 1960s and seriously discredited the peace movement. This is the same kind of thing. These people are the Yippies of the Republican right, and they are absolutely nowhere. They're a dead end.

This will not move the policy ball -- these people will end up fouling out of the game. It feels like it's doing something when you do it -- it's a rush -- but it's self-defeating, nihilistic, narcissistic, juvenile acting out, and it will backfire.

There are serious responsible people trying to fix our health care system, and this noise is not going to stop it from happening. Let's just keep our eye on the ball here.

Reality check: This woman's child is not at risk from "the liberals," "Obamacare," or from our health care system generally, either as it is currently constituted, or as it might be reformed. In fact, the complex, very evolved American health care system is and will continue to be a key ingredient in that youngster's continuing to have a decent quality of life in the decades to come, with or without the reform that may be coming. Look, people, the U.S. Constitution and government have served us well since 1781. The system will find a way to adjust to our present problems, and things are going to be okay -- not perfect, but okay -- for the elderly, the Downs kids, and even for the right wing froot loops. The kid is safe.

That said, this woman is now using that child as a bit player in her own personal drama, and as a pawn in her political game. That's not the same as loving the child. The whole thing is an indicator of her self-centered psychological character. When we look at her, we're seeing what's called "Axis 2, Cluster B" -- kind of a mess -- histrionic, borderline, narcissistic, et cetera. Can't stick with a job (notice that?), can't stay in one school (remember?), has trouble maintaining continuous relationships (ask around), always some kind of dispute or snafu in the works. A lot of seducing, a lot of pushing away. Real trouble to work with. Disruptive as hell.

It's very hard to be a child of a parent like that. Accordingly, we should cut her kids some slack. Overall, the key in these matters is to maintain compassion, but also to maintain good boundaries.

Word to the wise.

I don't know why it is, but, for some reason, almost all of us consistently underestimate this man Barack Obama. The truth is that he may be the best man to hold this job in many, many decades. I am not afraid for what may happen when he appears before a crowd of juvenile kooks.

Yeah, sure, this part of the job is kinda hard. If you notice, though, he's been working very hard on some other things that are also no cakewalk — managing the economic crisis, dealing with foreign policy, stuff like that.

If this job were easy, we could have elected John McCain and Sarah Palin. We didn't, because it's not. It is actually too hard for them, and a strong majority of Americans grasped that fact. But Barack is the man. He can do this.

We'll look back on this and say, "Yeah, we always underestimated that cat."

... if your ghostwriter has to stop and take a leak or something. I have a little spare time, I could cobble something together for you. Buck fifty a word.

I use logic and facts, though. Is that okay?

No, but seriously -- stick to something you know about. Work a year in a nursing home and then come back and try to peddle this crap with a straight face. Until then, get lost and take your hired hack with you (or should I say, get lost and take the ex-governor with you, Charlie).

They might feel pressured. Christ.