Letters to the Editor
jb
Published Letters: 14 Editor's Choice: 4
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Cecile Richards
[Read the article: Annie Lennox look-alike takes over Planned Parenthood]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Just because the Times interviewer described her looks does not mean it's a case of "she's a woman, let's focus on her looks." The Times tends to have a literary style in its writing and usually offers up a physical description of its interviewees. Why not compare the description of Lennox to men profiled by the Times before crying wolf. Let's not jump the gun and call everything sexism. How did the Annie Lennox issue come up anyway? Clearly, Cecile mentioned it. I doubt the Times writer was with her often enough to learn first hand that she's often told she resembes Lennox. Especially, when the article also mentions that Richards likes the comparison.
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El Salvador Abortions
[Read the article: Terrifying Times]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]What the Times article brought to mind was a sad irony I experienced with a
pregnant "pro-life" Salvadorian I knew in college. She I believe exemplifies
much of the pro-life movement anywhere. She was from a very wealthy family
and in the US for college. She told me how she was adamantly pro-life, that El
Salvador was a pro-life country and that's the way it should be. Long story
short, she got pregnant a few weeks later and a few months after that had
an abortion. Because of, well the morning sickness interfering with her
exams and her job hunting. Mind you, her equally wealthy boyfriend was ready ot
to marry her. The part that REALLY got me was after she had this abortion
(which she told no one about except her boyfriend, me and her therapist) she
told a mutual friend of mine, right in front of me, a few months later how
she hated American feminists telling El Salvador that they should make abortion
legal. The feminists should mind their own business and abortion shouldn't
be legal in El Salvador because they're wrong! And no, she didn't regret her
abortion. This attitude of complete hypocrisy reminded me of Dan Quayle
(remember him?) and his wife talking about how they would allow their
daughters to have an abortion only if it were "an extreme case" that
endangered their physical or mental health. Mental health? Who would be the
judge of that? It's always been and always will be: people will be holier than
thou about abortion and about everything until it's them that needs it. I've
seen other woman be adamantly pro-life until they got inconveniently pregnant
and then go back to being pro-life but it's "pro-life for everyone else."
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He's looking to get caught
[Read the article: I found a woman in my husband's drawers]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Leaving emails up on a screen? Leaving things in a file drawer? He's still in love with her. Or it's a power thing. I had a boyfriend who kept his ex's photos up and whenever we had a fight he'd always coincidentally have a catch up call with her since "they were still friends." Clearly, there's a problem in the marriage. Bad place to be. The LW sounds pretty level headed but also perhaps a bit in denial. She's giving him the benefit of the doubt but perhaps too much. I mean, men know how to be assertive and tell someone to leave them alone. Why keep the reservations from so long ago? And it's not just old stuff. It's all his love notes - from his wife and his ex. It wasn't just random stuff, it was all his romantic. And guess who's in the lead?
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Responsibility to your family
[Read the article: My boyfriend is an abusive alcoholic]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Even if the LW doesn't care about herself and worries more about an abusive man going to jail (so he doesn't hurt others) her obligation isn't just to herself. SHe said he might hurt her family. She's got no right to endanger her family. They didn't choose to waste two years of their lives with him; she did. . SHe's got to put her family above a guy who's abused her for 2 years. I mean, who much denial is she still in? "he's never abused another woman before." ?@?!# Come on, give me a break. She's still in denial. He's a charming abuser. And he'll abuse others if he doesn't go to jail. That's what jail is for - bad people who abuse others. And no matter how charming he is, charming doesn't mean nice or kind or good. Abusive does mean bad. You're not the first woman he abused no matter what lies he told you, and you won't be the last if he stays out of jail.
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Date older guys
[Read the article: I'm 23 but I don't have everything I want yet]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Guys at 23 have no idea how to date, get freaked out, or are just not looking for a serious relationship. Get someone in their late 20s - not so old that he's weird for dating someone a decade younger but old enough to be looking for something more meaningful and have the hang of how to navigate dating and relationships. Also, consider, are you getting to chummy with these guys after 5 or 6 dates? lots of guys may act sweet and cuddly, but once you reciprocate, they bolt. Err on the side of restraint. Anyhoo, good luck. You're obviously attractive enough to get these dates and level headed enough to be successful in the rest of your life. It's no fun being alone, but persevere, and when you do find the right one, you'll have a decent life to share: a good job, hobbies you've developed, a social circle you're a part of.