Letters to the Editor

• Hey back atcha goodgrass...

  [Read the article: What would we see if we were behind your eyeballs, Cary?]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  Yes, I did see Cary's advice to the mechanic.

  You got me in this case: I think in an ideal world, that would be a beautiful thing, to let down one's guard and just lay it out there and have the expectation that one would be seen as a paisan...

  But with the way the letter writer describes this neighbor of his, there is no way in hell I'd amble on over and try to have that chat with him. He is hostile. He is dangerous. He talks about being happy to kill animals. His kid shoots the neighborhood pets with a BB gun. Unfortunately, I'd have my doubts that the Dalai Lama himself could bring a happy ending to all here.

  I think the most sensible advice the mechanic has gotten is here in the letters: to let it go, forget the debt... and be nice, sure, but only cut deals for customers who have a solid good history with him as he builds his business.

  I definitely would not go breaking car windows with a baseball bat, especially the car of an ex-con. Sure it would feel great, but the payback could be so not worth it.

  So, no, I think Cary can blow his answer sometimes. However, he also comes up with some awesome answers, full of good, helpful advice and even some poetry.

  I'm willing to forgive him his flaws for those bursts of genius.

  Goodgrass: "What this says to me is Cary thinks others and reality don’t matter; the only thing that matters is what he sees/thinks. This is what annoyed me about Monday’s column. This is what annoys me about Cary as an advice columnist. I don't hate Cary, I just think he should have another job."

  You could be right. Cary might be happier doing something else instead too. Maybe readers would get all of their questions answered fully and be happier with another columnist. Hard to say. Maybe Cary should have one of those little click scales like Help flow charts: Did this article help you? Yes - No - Go To Next Topic.

  But the letter writers get us too, the Greek chorus in the background, and they'd be nuts not to read at least most of the responses. Unless of course they start racking up into 30+ pages of repetition ;)

  I know Cary sometimes reads the letters that follow his columns... or hangs out in Table Talk... so I think he does care about how he is reacted to, and wants feedback like other writers. It must be weird, really, to be like this mystic on a mountaintop, dispensing words of wisdom or cryptic puzzles to questioners... I know I'D screw that up sometimes.

  I guess the verdict here is that for at least this time, the readership said NO in a loud voice to the author looking inward. Maybe Cary will take that as a suggestion to look more outward... After all, you are absolutely correct, I agree, that anyone unhappy is welcome to voice their unhappiness here!

  I guess I just hoped for (and this is not directed at you personally, goodgrass) for more communion and less blatant hostility. I kinda see the letters section as a gateway to the world, and I really love to see people offering help to the original letter writer.

  Really... how generous people can be, to write in with such careful thought! And impressive too that even the angry people are so full of feeling that they come here to vent it... like they feel personally slighted, that this place on the web, Since You Asked, has not been up to par.

  In the end, Cary should be glad that he has such a collection pf passionate readers who let him know, one way or the other, that they are reading and thinking about his words, and about the people that come to him for help.

  Permalink Tuesday, December 11, 2007 07:55 PM