Letters to the Editor
DCLaw1
Published Letters: 996 Editor's Choice: 2
-
go back to bed, children
[Read the article: Today's FISA vote]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]RNC -
Barack Obama wants to sit down and negotiate with terrorists, but he is not willing to give our intelligence agencies the tools they need to prevent future attacks.... If Senators Obama and Clinton were serious about national security they would realize that while our ability to monitor terrorist communication expires in a matter of days, the terrorist threat against our families will not.
Senators Clinton and Obama worship demons in the woods, dancing in circles wearing berries and the entrails of small woodland creatures. If they were serious about the safety of citizens, they would realize that driving really fast increases one's chances of flying off the edge of the Earth. These are the words of a credible political organization. God Bless 911. And the Easter Bunny. Riding a glitter pony.
-
"Kathleen Sebelius is responding now..."
[Read the article: Today's FISA vote]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I feel the cottony numbness of catatonia coming on.
Keith Olbermann's gonna have to pop a paper bag at us when she's done.
-
Pedinska
[Read the article: Today's FISA vote]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]But I'm more visual. It's that smarmy little smirk that makes me want to jump up and slap the screen. Thank goodness I don't have Bystander's shotgun.
And I love how when Cheney stands up, he looks like some evil wizard skeksi from The Dark Crystal.
I think I even saw him tear a podling's head off and suck its essence out from its neck. The repeated standing of the Republicans in attendance was actually them jumping up to catch the headless, lifeless bodies of the podlings Cheney threw their way.
Congressional Republicans must be fed Cheney's leavings or they get restless and stop mating.
-
comic relief, pardon the interruption
[Read the article: The Senate's FISA agreement]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Totally unrelated, but well worth your time, I hope you all find this as mercilessly funny as I did:
http://dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Rudy_Giuliani
-
naked
[Read the article: The Senate's FISA agreement]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There is a smell wafting from the Senate leadership - the odor of spoiled American cheese, drab and weak-bodied from the beginning, now rendered outright inedible.
If viewed askance in surprise glimpses, the Capitol dome may lately resemble a naked arse, bared and shamed against a gray, overcast sky; bald as the lies that emanate like flatulence from its mouth.
Old Man Establishment sits pantless on the edge of his hotel bed, his pale, gnarled legs dipped up to the shins in black dress socks. The blinds in the window are as open as a fundraiser bar, and the morning sunlight shines unforgivingly on his razor-burned skin; skin thin as archived parchment, knees worn and mottled as the marble of the Senate halls.
The single malt scotch ensured he slept the whole night. But, as with every morning, he cannot remember his dreams.
-
Che
[Read the article: Is Michael Mukasey prioritizing the harassment and imprisonment of journalists?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A silver automatic pistol in his side holster, who knows what other armaments were there on his person? The only thing he didn't put on -- this was summer, after all -- was that wide-lapelled, contrast piped, ankle length trenchcoat. I'm sure that was it draped over the passenger seat of the car, next to the double-barrel shotgun sticking up toward the rearview mirror.
He went in the greasy spoon before me and disappeared, didn't see him the whole time I was having my scrambled eggs and ham. Wouldn't be surprised if he was in the kitchen demanding of the cookstaff "Your papers!"
Lars comes home to a basement apartment covered neatly and completely in vinyl, polyurethane, and clear furniture plastic. With military briskness, he unbuckles his right jackboot, then his left, slides each of them off, then removes his belt with a single, clean motion to the leathery sound of SHRRRIP. When the pants are removed, one leg precisely after the other, they reveal a gleaming pleather thong clamped on to his pelvis like two strangling hands.
Not a single flicker of expression passes across his face as he unbuttons his heavily starched shirt and removes the binder clips from his nipples. As he walks from the door toward his kitchen, his clothes are already, somehow, neatly folded and stacked on a shelf, directly behind his boots, which stand guard like twin soldiers at a gate.
The refrigerator is jet black, the thick handle fashioned to look like a veiny forearm and fist. He opens the door - there are precisely two types of items inside, in perfectly equal number, nearly filling the refrigerator space: bottled water and protein shakes (all strawberry). The pleather of his thong crackles menacingly as he reaches for one of each. He takes them back to his couch, glinting in black vinyl, and switches on the light on the end table. The cord is custom-made to look like a miniature bull whip.
Cracking open his bottle of water and bottle of protein shake, he turns turns his TV on. It is already tuned to CNN, at the precise second that Lou Dobbs comes on. No sound comes from the television - it has been muted. Instead, Lars turns on his stereo, which immediately begins spinning his favorite disk: a mix he made of Rammstein, Britney Spears, and Tom Tancredo speeches.
He blankly watches Mr. Dobb's jowls jiggle as the report topics flash next to his head and at the bottom of the screen. The next segment features green night vision video footage of Mexicans running in the desert, brightly illuminated as they come near to the camera, then disappearing back into the darkness as they flee into the dust and foliage.
Lars takes a sip from his protein shake. Then from his water.
-
Che
[Read the article: Is Michael Mukasey prioritizing the harassment and imprisonment of journalists?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]DC: OMG!
We could cause quite a ruckus, ya know....
(Wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes.)
Your initial description of that ICE stormtrooper was so vivid, I thought it a shame to leave it without further elaboration.
-
bebop
[Read the article: Is Michael Mukasey prioritizing the harassment and imprisonment of journalists?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]In answer to your question, I think Lars the ICE agent could tell you the best way to get that pink nail polish off.
His favorite method is to use industrial paint thinner. Or a belt sander. Both are conveniently kept in his bedroom, next to his collection of exotic guns and institutional restraints.