Leave a little bottle of Beano on his desk. End of problem.

You're young, and it appears to me that neither of these young men are really long-term, settle down, have a couple kids kind of guys. One is brilliant but remote and emotionally unavailable, and the other is financially unstable--a good guy, but you gotta pay the bills. Brilliant doesn't count for much, and Con-Ed doesn't care if you're nice.

Have you considered that neither of these men is the person you should hitch your star to?

The fact is, you could be happy with hundreds of men in your zip code. You don't need a soul mate. You need a man whose company pleases you, who thinks about your needs as much as you think about his, who is flexible and responsible, and who wishes good things for you--as you do him.

I'd pitch both these guys off the end of the dock and keep fishing. You'll find the right one eventually.

and it's built on generosity. As you practice it, picture yourself giving the person you're speaking to a beautifully wrapped present.

Practice saying, "What do you think about...?" or alternately, "Tell me about yourself." Try the phrase, "I haven't heard much about that. Tell me more."

I've known many people who are highly educated, but the ones who have the most friends and supporters are those who don't offer what they know unless they're asked. They're humble about what they know, and unless you know them well, you aren't aware of the breadth of their knowledge.

You might also ask a companion to give you a code word for "You're talking too much. Zip it." It'll help you teach yourself when you've said too much.

you should take a look at the guy she defeated. As bad as she is, he is ten times as offensive. His "mud slinging" campaign ad was a classic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vernon_Robinson

You are clearly heading into your late thirties and you've been divorced from this woman for more than a decade. And you're thinking about her hair and nails?

Maybe it has to do with your satisfaction with her just the way she is. The fact that you pushed her to look different for you probably made her dig in her heels--"Why won't you love me as I am?"

This obsession seems pointless and childish.

I've been with someone who considered me a project and I've been with someone (now for 21 years) who likes me just as I am. I can tell you who makes me happier.