For 30 years my dad, also a Vietnam vet (about the same age as the LW’s dad – hardly elderly), lived alone in a house that was falling in around his ears. It happed slowly and it pushed most of my dad’s friends and girlfriends away and he became very depressed. I used to wonder how much longer the home could take such neglect before the whole thing had to be torn down. My sister and I used to talk about how clean-up would work after he died. Thank god my dad never had cats – I can’t imagine.

Then my sister found herself in a bit of a crisis and she moved in with dad (she stayed about a year). As a ‘thank you’ her first week there she went Ikea for some bookcases and a dozen picture frames. The bookcases were quickly filled with dad’s books and old photographs that had been hidden away for 30 years. My sister cleaned out the fridge and scrubbed the kitchen floor and put out some flowers on dad’s old butcher block table. She cleaned up the room she was staying in. The house was still wrecked – but there were corners of it that seemed homey. That inspired dad. That trash day he had so much junk out on the curb for pick-up his neighbors thought he was moving.

All that inspired me. I was always grossed out an overwhelmed by the inside of my dad’s house (I can’t imagine living there) but the outside garden was an adventure. My dad cleaned up some long neglected garden tools and I spent a couple of weekends in a row out there clearing out pricker bushes and ivy that was choking out lilacs, roses, azaleas, day-lilies – it was seriously like the Secret Garden out back. And dad would grill burgers outside (I still wasn’t ready to eat from his kitchen) and my sister would bring a six-pack home from work with her and it was good family time.

That was all about 5 years ago. My dad’s house is still a mess and I’m still embarrassed. But he’s moving in the right direction and I’m not worried about him anymore like I once was – things really do look better and better every time I visit him and I know he’s dating again. I don’t think about his death and my obligations and his will anymore. Since I’m helping out with his garden I’ve spent lots of time with him in the spring and summer grilling in his backyard (I stay in the room my sister cleaned out years ago).

If I were the LW I’d give my long lost sister a call and I’d see if she’d be willing to spend a week or two at dad’s helping him get organized. Bring a pair of crappy jeans and a good pair of work gloves and your sense of humor. I can’t imagine the LW’s dad saying no to having his kids around (together!) for a week or two and I’ll bet it’s a good for everyone involved.

This opinion piece sounded like sour grapes to me. I got the idea the author is ticked off that all her organic eating and yoga practicing isn’t getting her any cat calls on the street.

Black and Latino men like big butts – that’s no secret. But, generally speaking, they like their large assed ladies to have a slim waist, a lack of cellulite and nice teeth and skin - it’s not like the truly obese and sickly are celebrated within the black community. Very much the opposite – fat black woman are ridiculed inside their own community (Eddie Murphy in drag anyone?) as well as from the outside (see this article and its supportive responses).

“I can tell the next day (sometimes within the hour, if I've eaten something like fast food, which makes me fall asleep at my desk) just how bad for me a given meal was.”

I never eat fast food! You are so gross for ingesting it! No wonder you’re still fat. You’ll never loose that last 5 lbs ingesting that crap even occasionally. And let’s face it – you should probably loose 10. You must have no self control. I’ll bet you’re lazy too. Maybe a stair master and some therapy would help you. Even at my fattest I was skinner then you are now!

That feel nice? I’ll bet not. So how come you dish it out like that to other people? You think you are the only one on the planet with feelings and hardship and a million things going on?

You do come off as smug and it’s wildly unattractive no matter how great you look on the outside.

Cheers.

If I weren’t consumed with Paris today it would be something else silly. A person can’t always be thinking about human suffering. I’m not Mother Theresa. Some days I read the gossip pages or I watch E! or I toss a silly book in the bottom of my beach bag and I really do ‘get all the news I need on the weather report.’ Other days I’ve got my nose buried in a copy of the Economist and I listen to news radio all day.

I’m excited to see Paris get tossed back in the clink. She’s a total menace and I dislike her.

I’d also be excited to see the black teenager who is behind bars for having sex with a slightly younger teenager OUT of prison on those child molestation charges.

I can be a silly girl – but I’m not limited by it. Of course I'm staying away from CNN today - the Paris coverage can be taken too far.