I am really dying to know what’s wrong with the brother. Is he in love with his roommate? Feeling adversarial toward him? Is he depressed? Did the roommate do something specifically horrible? It seems like everyone who posted here is curious about what’s really going on with the guy except his sister.

I do have a brother and if he warned me away from his roommate I’d be quick to sit him down, look him in the eye and ask him to spill. I’d want to know all the details of his living situation. I’d have found our exactly what was up and we’d have been a unified front. Even if he did curse me out and say terrible things to me I’d be less concerned about my feelings and more worried about him. There isn’t enough good sex or free rent in the world to get me to betray him in any way – especially if he was acting crazy because that’s when he’d need me the very most.

What this letter really made me feel is fortunate to have such a great relationship with my own brother. And I’m going to tell him so when I see him over the holiday.

“I don't know what sort of relationship you have with YOUR siblings, but I have never in my life discussed my sex life with my brother -- nor would I ever agree to do so.”

“Also, some of you must have REALLY STRANGE relationships with your siblings. Get counseling.”

I do speak about sex with my brother and the rest of my family too. It’s not like we sit around the dinner table having pornographic conversations but it’s not a taboo subject in our household. In fact being so repressed as to not even being able to talk about it sounds odd to me – but I’d never tell you it was so crazy that you should seek mental help.

But I will remind you that this is a friendly debate and it’s not cool to be taking things so personally and attacking everyone with a different world view. You’re kind of coming off as a bit crazy with these last few posts and it’s killing what I found to be a very fascinating thread. Maybe it’s time to step away from the computer for a bit?

Maybe the wife is a bitch. Maybe your boyfriend has conned you with this story. I don’t think it matters. What matters is he didn’t want the divorce to begin with, he’s still accepting her love letters, he’s still taking her calls and now he’s told you (after just a hint of a medical problem) that he won’t divorce her. He wants to stay married. What does that make you in this story?

Hold you head up high and get out with your self-respect intact. And pressuring your boyfriend to do anything is a big mistake. He either wants you or he dosen’t. You don’t want a man you have to drag to the alter, do you?

BTW - I don’t wear a wedding ring and as of today, after over 10 years of marriage, we just now have a joint bank account. I’d have kept my name except I really liked his better. So those things mean nothing – they weren’t even worth mentioning and that you did tells me that you’re lying to yourself about her a little bit. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t get caught up in all the meaningless details and drama. I have a good feeling you're a lot better then this.

I been picking at my scalp since I was a little kid. I don’t even realize I’ve done it until I’ve got a couple strands of hair and a scab in my hand. I can really identify with the LW and other posters who have concentrated on cover-ups – changing my part, growing bangs and wearing clips and scarves was my M.O. for a long time.

Recently I’ve been able to pull back considerably by redirecting my habit on body hair and grooming my nails. I can’t tell you that I’ve found a cure but I can give you hope that you can back down, redirect and cope with it better if that’s what you really want.

I think we can often be a little too smart for our own good. Opening up a medical text, or doing a Google search, and diagnosing yourself is the worst idea ever – that’s a disease in itself. Driving your heels into the ground and insisting it’s a tic that no one can cure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy fast. Experimenting with different therapists (I’d start with CBT) and maybe hypnosis or Eastern Medicines sounds like a much more hopeful way to address this problem. It’s all rather fascinating too.

And Cary – take another long look at the Mona Lisa. Do you really not notice anything missing? LW – that fact that he dosen’t should make you feel a lot better. Most people don’t notice things like this even if it seems so obvious to us.