Yes, I had noticed that too and I’ve been thinking about it way too much since. At the very least there should be a ‘spoiler warning’ at the TOP of the article (not hidden in the very paragraph we should be avoiding).

For now I’m just trying to forget so the story can unfold for me the way the author intended. You only get one first read and I guess we’re all going to have to be mega protective of this one.

I went into this article thinking it was just about the book being available online (something I’ve known about since early this morning when every nerdy technology person I know sent out a frantic email). Then I came across this:

“But the copy I have includes all the pages; I could, if I wanted to, tell you the very last line of the very last Harry Potter book right now.”

You know what? That’s a shitty thing to say. It makes me not like Manjoo at all. It strikes me as crazy that this guy didn’t realize that downloading the most anticipated book in recent memory and then threatening to tell us would make him the least popular guy on Salon.

When I got married the thing I had to come to terms with quickly was this wasn’t my big day. This was the day when two families, who live all over the world, got together for a big party. It was as much about my parents, grandparents, long lost cousins and new in-laws (who all shelled out considerably money and vacation time to enjoy the day) as it was about me. And my dad was overjoyed to have the whole family in the same room together – it was for this reason that he saved up that money for ‘my’ wedding.

Frankly I’d have rather have had the money too. I’m not much into wearing the big white dress and all the odd traditions that go along with it – I’d have much preferred a civil ceremony and a nice, long honeymoon. But those private concerns are things that the whole family can’t enjoy and it’s not a gift my dad ever offered.

Asking for the money for personal reasons sounds tacky and a little selfish when (in my experience) it’s really about the family keeping close.

It surprised me that so many people were offended by an academic look at gender in politics. And all the talk of having to dumb down the conversation in order to keep Fox New on the defense seems crazed.

But what I really like is the author’s ‘rebuttal’ article. Too many times an author with an unpopular article on Salon will let the letters from readers get into the hundreds but will still remain silent and I find that very annoying. I’ve much more interest in a sort of conversation then I am at the news media talking at me.

If we were talking about adults you might have a point – but we’re talking about girls UNDER the age of 16. Asking a child to be responsible for her own health in an industry that prizes thinness above all else seems to be asking too much.

We don’t send children down to coal mines anymore because of the harm it can do to their developing bodies. We shouldn’t send children to fashion shows for the same reason.

Plus I think that adults sexualizing a girl in her early teens is just gross. I’m not sure why everyone doesn’t find it icky.

“This guy has allowed himself to be whipped for more than a decade.”

Yes he has. And that also makes me think that, for whatever screwed up reason, this LW is getting something out of it. His limits and your limits (or mine) are two different things. If he likes to play with fire we can’t stop him.

My main concern is that his wife screws him in court and moves out with the kid to John’s. That would be tragic and completely unfair and I can totally see it happening. As long as the LW protects himself from that whatever else floats his boat is fine with me if it’s cool with him.

This LW is acting like a very poor lawyer. With so much at stake (his kid, his firm, his home, his marriage and his future earnings) he needs to be ready for anything before opening this box of worms. In addition to all the legal maneuvers Ben suggests I’d also hire a P.I. and find out exactly what’s going on before doing anything else. Right now the LW is only guessing at what’s going on and that’s not good enough – he needs to know exactly what he’s dealing with.

But unlike Ben I see this plan as more as more of an insurance policy and a final line in the sand. Confronted with her affair and all the years of lies the wife might be inclined to admit she’s got a problem that’s harming her family. I don’t think it’s too late for a happy outcome. But if it all goes to hell the LW is ready for it.

“i know when he's trying to manupulate me, because he's done it before...this is not one of those times”

Girls generally don’t text and call men who ignore them. Your husband is either encouraging her on in some way or she’s stalking him. In either case I don’t see how reaching out to her is going to be anything but trouble.