Letters to the Editor
Anne in NYC
Published Letters: 342 Editor's Choice: 38
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setting yourself up for failure
[Read the article: Friends don't let friends talk fat]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Why are people talking about obesity? The topic is size two girls trying to go a little easier on themselves. Some people just can’t stop themselves from attacking fat people. I think there are a lot of posters here who would benefit from Tri-Delta’s body acceptance program.
I have always been a curvy girl. As a teenager I felt so fat but looking back I was anything but. I was a size 8 and stacked. Not overweight – just not reed thin. And I was way, way too heavy to have ever considered rushing for my school’s Tri-Delta chapter. It’s a real shame when a perfectly beautiful young girl feels fat over NOTHING. And all that trying to loose this weight I didn’t need to? You guessed it – it made me overweight for real and it was something I struggled with for a few years.
These days I’m done with diets. I’m not going to starve myself and try to make myself look like something I’m not just to be popular. Screw that! And THAT’S what this post is about. That so many people respond to it with diet remedies and are coming down on the truly obese – it’s just sad and messed up and it says way more about you then anyone else’s weight.
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But drunk girls do put themselves in danger!
[Read the article: Victim blaming or same old scare tactics?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I constantly see drunk girls on the street who can’t take care of themselves. I know NYC is really very safe – but when you see a very young, very drunk woman wandering around the LES by herself you really do want to smack a little sense into her. And I’m NOT talking about tossing back a couple or smoking a J outside a club – I’m talking about vomiting on yourself and falling out of your low-cut jeans trashed. I’ve even gone so far as to call 911 and have the police pick a girl like that up and haul her off (she was sitting down in the street babbling).
Obviously rapists are monsters. And obviously sometimes you can’t protect yourself. And obviously even drunk, out of control girls who get raped are innocent too. But this is about encouraging women to be in control and I’m not sure why that’s so anti-feminist around here.
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But I don’t want to play hockey, mom!
[Read the article: Barely Legal Castle]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My fairy princess castle was made out an appliance box, some old pink sheets and a few cushions. And you bet the door was an archway! I used to wear moms old slips and a rhinestone tiara I got at a second hand shop when I held court with my dolls. I feel sort of sorry for the kid who has to settle for this pink monstrosity and that cheap looking costume – but I understand the want to have those sorts of toys. Lots of girls just naturally want these sorts of things and telling them they can’t is a sure fire way to ensure they must.
And I don’t think the name means anything. Rose Red, Snow White –these old names certainly had some significance. But I think we’re giving Hasbro way too much credit in thinking up Sweet Lilly. I think any variation of nice/pretty flower would have worked and that brainstorming session wasn’t nearly as interesting as imagined.
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it's nothing
[Read the article: Putting out for Barack]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It’s not smart or cute. It’s just a bad copy job. I’m sort of annoyed to see it get any attention at all.
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A smoke screen?
[Read the article: Should I leave my husband because he won't quit smoking?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If the LW felt so strongly about her husband’s smoking she would have never had kids with him. She would have never put ANY financial demands on him. For her to give an ultimatum now is weak and suspicious. Lots of people have said it’s about ‘control’ and her dad I’m sure there is a lot of truth to that – but I really do suspect there is something way more pedestrian going on (like another man or a someone close to her feeding her bad advice).
Sure her husband needs to stop smoking – but nagging him and threatening him is NEVER going to accomplish that goal. It only makes the LW look like a bitch.
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Don’t stir this pot
[Read the article: I'm fighting a religious war with my mother-in-law]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My mother-in-law is a fundamentalist Christian too and there is just NO talking to her about religion or politics. And my MIL would consider yoga both religious and political. Watching ducks? I can easily imagine that turning into a lecture on creationism. Art and literature are pretty much off limits too. Spas just breed vanity. And if God wanted us to play/listen to musical instruments Jesus would have played one – so forget music too. I could go on and on.
There are aspects about my MIL I really do enjoy – but I let her son deal with all the messy parts. It’s really him that the MIL wants to speak with and bitch at anyway. If I tried to step in and defend my own beliefs I can see her becoming paranoid that I’m trying to come between her and her son and that really is the very last thing I want to do. So I do a lot of nodding and smiling and (like the LW) I occasionally make my excuses and let her have a private visit with her boy. I think this ‘path of least resistance’ plan is a good one. My MIL and I never fight and we have a very affectionate relationship. The last thing I want to do is rock that boat - doing so might make me feel better but it would make things so much harder for my husband.
Not everyone is going to love and understand us as completely as we might want. I think we'd all be a lot happier if we found some peace in that truth.