Letters to the Editor
Anne in NYC
Published Letters: 314 Editor's Choice: 37
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Aren’t we defined by what we’ve done?
[Read the article: Should I tell my new man that I used to date women?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think that our experiences are part of what define us. It’s not the whole thing but it’s a big part. If the LW had grown up Catholic, been a vegetarian or a huge Grateful Dead fan, even she isn’t those things now and hasn’t been for years, they are part of the experience that have led up to the person she is now. How bizarre not to reference from your own experiences and stories, or heavily censor them, with a guy you love. What do these two talk about? I’d have blabbed out my whole life story in the first month. I’d have laughed at his silly questions put him at ease – because having dated women isn’t a big deal and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
This is a conversation to have over a private dinner and a nice bottle of wine. Cary is spot on that this is a two way conversation – no dropping the bomb and just listening to the shocked silence and dumb questions that are sure to follow. And if this nice guy really can’t deal with it after sleeping on it I really don’t think he’s so nice after all and it’s no big loss.
And if the LW decides not to tell, and things work out, I can just about guarantee that some relative or old friend is going to accidentally do it for her one drunken night and that’s certainly not going to go over well because it will have turned into an issue of trust.
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Hey - LW
[Read the article: Should I tell my new man that I used to date women?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]“I found out that although we've been dating for seven months, and he says all the right things and says that he isn't dating anyone else - he is still on the personal site, looking daily - presumably - for something better.”
You mean a heterosexual guy is looking at pictures of ladies and thinking about sex daily? LOL. Maybe men aren’t for you after all. This could be nothing just as easily as it could be a deal breaker. Don’t rush to conclusions.
Before you kick him to the curb I’d tell him all and give him the chance to do the same. It’s a difficult to put your whole self out there for rejection – but you’re never going to be lucky in love unless you do just that. Take a chance.
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The fashionable elite?
[Read the article: If Crocs could kill]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Really? Because here in NYC you only see nurses, children and stay at home moms wearing them. They’re widely mocked – much more so then Uggs.
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eating in public
[Read the article: Bill Maher: "Don't show me your tits!" ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Isn’t Applebee’s all about people eating in front of each other?
I think the people who are so against public breastfeeding are obsessed. Comparing a child eating to urinating all over a public space? A sexual act? Young mothers should just stick close to home? That’s just crazed and it makes you sound loony.
And Bill – his career is dying. He’s just trying to get attention. I doubt he even believes what he’s spewing.
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Pre-pregnant anyone?
[Read the article: Take two pills and don't get pregnant]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A few months ago when the CDC suggested all women who have even a small chance of conceiving get on the proper vitamin regiment lots of feminists flipped. It was all about Bush trying to keep us barefoot and in the kitchen by forcing vitamin C on us. In fact I just got done reading NOW’s position on the subject (ok, I skimmed it – it’s really shrill and it started giving me a headache).
I didn’t get then and I don’t get now what the big deal is about being ‘pre-pregnant.’ It seems like a no brainer to get on the proper vitamins and pay close attention to your drug intake if that’s where you are in life. I guess I just expect my doctor to ask those important questions and help me out. But after reading that NOW article I can see why some doctor’s are hesitant to get into the ‘baby maker’ conversation. Sometimes I’m sure we’re our own worst enemies.
And no one really knows what’s up with all the autistic kids out there (one out of every 100 I think) - maybe that’s where all the babies with birth defects are.
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He hasn’t brushed his teeth in 8 years?
[Read the article: My boyfriend has no front teeth, and he won't go to the dentist]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]No way! I understand that dental care is expensive and most people don’t have that sort of insurance. I know that lots of people are more scared of the dentist then any other thing. But not brushing your teeth? For 8 years? And the LW never mentioned it before?
I’m shocked the LW didn’t help her guy out years ago. It makes this letter sound wildly unbelievable. When your partner has an issue that’s totally paralyzing them it’s up to the SO in the situation to take over in a kind way. Cary’s girlfriend did it just right – that’s taking care of each other properly. I’m sure she changed Cary’s world. Our teeth are a big deal – as others have pointed out not taking care of your mouth could be deadly. At the very least it’s going to put you in the ‘trailer trash,’ ‘hillbilly,’ ‘junkie’ box (Salon readers can be real douches sometimes).
BTW - even if the guy can’t stomach or afford having those titanium screws in his mouth you’ve got to figure a professional cleaning, a really good electric toothbrush (great if you have problem gums) and some dentures would be major for this guy and no way would it cost even close to the ridiculous numbers people are tossing out.