Letters to the Editor
Anne in NYC
Published Letters: 342 Editor's Choice: 38
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Eh – not a huge deal
[Read the article: Lately I've been kissing women I'm not married to]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A couple of kisses in all that time seem like a small thing. $10 says the wife can recount similar incidents. Haven’t any of you married people out there had ever had too much to drink at the company Christmas party? It’s a long life and things like this sometimes happen to the best of us.
So many of the couples I know seem to think that if their partner is really ‘the one’ there will never be any temptation to go kissing other people. That once you’ve found ‘the one’ you’ll never want another. Well, I’ve found that pretty much sets you up for divorce – because if anyone has a lapse of judgment it proves he or she isn’t ‘the one’ and it’s straight to divorce court.
Still - kissing a co-worker (or anyone for that matter) is a very stupid thing to do. Chances are it’s going to make work awkward. Chances are it gets around the office. I’d say there is even a pretty good possibility that some well meaning co-worker is going to send the wife an anonymous email – because this is how this sort of drama plays out.
If I found out the LW was my husband it would earn him a few nights on the couch and it would earn the lady in question my condescension. But divorce? That sounds so extreme to let a couple of stray kisses mess up a marriage (especially one with children). My advice to the LW is to get over himself and his 2 kisses in 15 years. He’s normal. And he’s doing good by not letting things go any further then they have.
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You couldn’t drag me to this wedding
[Read the article: Isn't 16 a little young for marriage? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I seriously doubt letting a 16 year old get married is the worst of this church.
My husband’s family belongs to what sounds like the sort of church the LW is talking about. When I was 18 and dating him I went to one of the services: the preacher told the congregation that AIDS was God’s plague against the gays and Catholics were all going to burn in a fiery lake. And then I got up and walked outside and I haven’t back in that building since. I might have said something – but women aren’t allowed to speak in his church. I still get along with the family but I don’t participate with their nonsense just to avoid a little drama. I stick to my values and still manage to be kind and friendly (and I get to sleep in on Sunday’s when I visit).
If I was this LW no way you could drag me to this child’s wedding. I’d send a gift and then I’d be done with it. But I might let my daughter go – only because I’ll bet you anything she comes back feeling a little sick herself.
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Stand in the middle of the road and you will get hit
[Read the article: Isn't 16 a little young for marriage? ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]“I feel that people have to learn their lessons whatever way they need to learn them. It is not up to us to judge what paths our loved ones choose. These kids can still live a fulfilled, happy life.”
That’s some hippy-dippy talk.
My husband has an Aunt who can’t stop saying horrible things about black people. Her path is to be a raciest ass and she’s as happy and superior as she can be about it. I love my aunt (she has many decent qualities) but she’s still not invited to Thanksgiving until she gets it through her thick skull I won’t hear it. I judge her to be completely inappropriate and dead wrong. My telling her as much created lots of drama in the family – but I’m sticking to my guns on this one: that woman is not sitting at my dinner table until she can get her act together.
Maybe you would just sit by and let people say and do whatever – but I think that attitude is generally more cowardly then loving.