You and my brother are staying with me, I tell you my bother had some problems and I’d appreciate it if you kept some distance. Would you really knock on his bedroom door in the middle of the night and feel like it was all no big deal? I’m going to guess because you’re (presumably) a good friend and polite house guest you would not. And if you really had a problem with my request I just know you’d say to hell with me and get a room of your own.

I don’t think it’s a Federal Case and it’s not worth crying over (that is odd) but this was not in good form and I do think the LW needs to give her brother a heart felt apology for making him uncomfortable in his own home.

Oh, I know my husband would be embarrassed for her and show her back to her room. But she would have still crossed a line that made her unwelcome. I expect a little more from my guests and I'll bet you do too.

Back in my youth I knew several guys to pull that one (going after girls just to get one up on their ‘friends’). I fell into this trap myself – it was a huge learning experience for me that not all guys are decent and trustworthy. In my personal experience most guys grow out of that behavior just like I grew out of being so trusting and dense – but there are always a few bad apples.

And I would never say that all men are like this. The vast majority of men are grossed out and hurt by this sort of behavior too. Some men are jerks just like some women are jerks. It’s just not a gender thing and not something you can make sweeping generalizations about (and any book that says one rule applies to all is bunk).

We’re all just guessing about what happened here – the only thing I know for sure is that with a husband in the house the LW is NOT allowed to sleep on my sofa for any length of time. Because it’s not cool to sleep with whoever you feel like – some things really are off limits and family trumps a one night stand.

She was staying with her brother (rent free) one summer and he asked her to stay away from his ‘roommate’ giving no real reason why. The sister did slept with the ‘roommate’ and dated him for the rest of her stay only to discover, months later, that the ‘roommate’ was really the brother’s boyfriend. That’s why the brother was so upset. It’s been almost 10 years and this brother and sister still don’t speak. And despite the fact that I’m sort of friends with the sister the whole story made me really distrust/dislike her (and I’ve only heard her version - not the much stronger story I’m sure her brother would tell).

I’m not saying these two men in this letter were an item – but the brother certainly has some reason that the sister dosen’t seem to care about. In fact, to add insult to injury, the sister is insulting her brother for not getting his own life together! The LW sounds young and foolish to me. I hope she gets over herself because this is not an attractive way to act. She owes her bother an apology.

I moved around a lot as a kid too. But I don’t think you even have to have moved around all that much to identify with this letter. At this very moment I’ve got loads up unopened emails and evites and texts that I just don’t have it in me to deal with. For a long time I felt bad about not being great about keeping in touch with everyone who likes me – but what I’ve come to realize is its ok that I don’t need or want a million friends. I find that stressful.

I prefer hanging out in my kitchen drinking wine and playing old records with a very small group. I want it to be close and authentic. It sounds like the LW got a little taste of this sort of relationship with her German boyfriend. That’s the sort of relationship and friendship that feels like home – the boyfriend might not be the guy (it shoulds like he's not) but I think the comforts you experienced with him says a lot about what you need.

Basically I think you should stop beating yourself up for being a lousy pen pal and long distance lover. Most of us are bad at those things.

Fascinating yes – but not brave. I think the author of yesterday’s article just sounded scared and beat. It’s not just sex she’s given up on - she’s given up on taking chances and possibly being rejected. I don’t see how you can have any sort of real zest for life when you’re afraid like that. Sure the garden and sunshine are nice – they won’t reject you but they can’t love you back either. Even cats are only in it for the treats and belly rubs.

I think I’m about done with all these ‘over share’ articles. It’s one fad I really can’t wait to see end.

Have you actually read any of her previous writings on shopping and lifestyle? Obnoxious. Her book on how wonderful plastic surgery is? Gross. She’s the person all of NYC loves to hate and she has been for years and years. The only thing that’s shocking about this is that Kuczynski didn’t know she’s been being fed to the wolves this entire time.