Letters to the Editor
Cordelia
Published Letters: 9 Editor's Choice: 1
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So get up and do some dishes
[Read the article: Decoding Christmas dinner]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The men of my admittedly non-Midwestern acquaintance do have a common language. Mostly, it has to do with big-screen movies involving CGI apes or robots. The price of gasoline is also a unifying theme.
However, at family holiday dinners there is no need to preserve the traditional gender divide. If Garrison Keillor is bored, he should go in the kitchen and offer to cut up some carrots, wash some pots, scrub a counter or look after some kids or dogs. For extra credit, he could even plan ahead and arrange to cook some part of the meal himself.
He can also expend his free time in offering praise, gratitude and encouragement to the people who do all these things. As he must surely know by now, the absence of such encouragement and thanks causes strong women to crack, suddenly hurling a turkey platter through the TV screen or putting their feet down and declaring they will order takeout.
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What about just finding new friends?
[Read the article: I'm a Christian turning agnostic]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There are many social groups out there that do not demand that you believe anything in particular about God. If you still find meaning in the Christian message to help those in need, you might begin building a new social network by volunteering with groups that make your community a better place.
You could also involve your old Christian friends in activities that have no religious context -- throw a party for someone's birthday, have them over to watch football, go shopping together. But ultimately I think your change of heart regarding God is going to mean that you will find your most meaningful friendships with people who are willing to admit that there's no One True Answer.
When you do get involved with a new group, make yourself valuable. Help with the dishes, be kind to the socially inept, compliment the cooks, listen pleasantly and encouragingly. You'll be surprised how quickly you become popular.
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Cary nailed this one
[Read the article: My boyfriend wants me to move, my daughter wants me to stay]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your life is more important than this man. If moving were the right thing to do financially, if it would make your kid's life better, then you'd move. But it isn't and it won't. If he won't move to where you are, or decide to stick with the every-other-weekend arrangement, then he's not that into you. Hold out for someone who is.
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One step further
[Read the article: He spanks in anger]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]One other suggestion might be to invite Taz and Dexter over from time to time. Have them one at a time -- it sounds like these two kids could use a break from one another.
I've heard from many kids who grew up in bad situations that they drew inspiration from being around relatives who provided affection and attention and a role model for the idea that things can be different.
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Right on
[Read the article: I'm dying to be a musician]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I play in a chamber ensemble. We're not famous or rich but we do get to play regularly and sometimes we even get paid. One of our performers is a woman who never touched an instrument until she was 49. She then decided to take up bassoon -- not the world's easiest instrument. Within three years she was being asked to try out for paid orchestras.
You can do it. If music is in your soul, make some. And have fun! Show up at open mike nights, song swaps, dance festivals. Invite musicians over to your house for pizza, beer and jamming. If someone else's music moves you, tell them about it -- musicians love that.
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I would be happier...
[Read the article: Girlies for a good cause]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]... if they'd also done "The Lads of Ryanair." In fact, I would probably buy that one.
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See the parents, skip the sibs
[Read the article: I'm having a European family feud]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Whether or not you have a good relationship with your siblings is not that important -- they seem to want to drive you away, and it doesn't seem worth it to pursue their approval. However, you should not let them drive you away completely. Your parents won't be around forever, and it will be great if your kids can have some memories of them and learn more about their European heritage.
Talk to your parents, bring the kids to see them, and if your sibs are around, it's up to them to invite you and your family to be part of their lives.
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Oh, Mary Beth
[Read the article: Do not go gentle into that Eileen Fisher]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know what you mean. I'm 42 and it shows. But in the end, I'd rather spend my money on fabulous clothes -- because it's taken me this long to understand my style -- and really GOOD books.
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Actually, the book, well...
[Read the article: "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I read the book on the recommendation of trustworthy friends who know I like frothy British period pieces. I was put off by the resolution, in which Delysia winds up with a man who promises to knock her around from time to time. Sorry if that spoils anything for anyone, but I trust the filmmakers have been sensible enough to omit this theme.