If it is truly missing, my deepest regrets to Mr. Kong. How frustrating to be a 60 foot tall king in posession of a princess but not even a white man's measly six inches with which to do her justice. No wonder he's going crazy.

However, in contrast to chimps, apes have very small genetalia, owing in all likelihood to their practice of monogomy. So possibly Little Kong just wasn't visible in the wide shots. It would be no more than 15" on a 60' frame.

As for the charges of one angry black bitch, the undersized genetalia seems to give her argument the short end of the, er, stick: all white men know that all black guys are hung like a horse, and all feminists know that this underlying jealousy of the black man's superior sexuality is why white men make such racist films. Which leads me to this question:

Where's the beef, bitch?

Is unbecoming. At least consider another point of view.

Why is the U.S. taxpayer paying to research potential husbands for foreign women chasing green cards?

For $30 these foreign women can do the criminal background check themselves via the internet.

Why doesn't American taxpayer money go to protect the American men who will marry these women and their children who will be raised by them?

Americans cannot investigate backgrounds of foreign women via the internet -- that service is available only in America. They are about to be living with a mercenary -- a woman who marries a stranger for economic improvement. And these are particularly vulnerable men who have few other options and particularly vulnerable children who do not have a mother to protect them.

Do these senators believe that foreign women deserve more protection with American taxpayer dollars than American men and children?

That's what this column amounts too, right? Reporting on smut to titillate readers, and poking mainstream men in the eye?

How did Salon turn into such a smug and condescending caricature of a women's studies department? Replete with radical racial-conspiracy theories, "angry black bitches", and several up-and-coming Dworkins and Dowds?

Once upon a time Salon offered cutting edge political reporting and technology news. Now it's a sad joke. I just want to know who pulled the Carly Fiorina around here.

And until they make the NBA they can use their improved coordination to dodge gang-bangers, bad cops, and druggies who try to harass them after school.

Arbeit macht frei, no?

[/sarcasm]

Perhaps I'm simply unenlightened, but I've never quite understood the desire to turn to writing for the same reasons one would turn to, say, pornography, or a willing partner

Your "perhaps" is showing, David, and one wonders why you review erotica when you hold it in such disdain.

* Did you think you were engaged in literary criticism here?

* Was this an intellectual exercise in your enlightened mind?

MEMO FROM MANAGEMENT:

Salon sells sex. Salon readers LIKE to read about it. Suggesting they ought to get a DVD of Debby Does Dallas -- or a date, the poor things -- is a slap in their face.

But smacking around readers is a Salon specialty, no? So nicely done, man.

(The pretense of this publication surpasses amazement.)

But who says feminists are predictable?

And she had such qualms about her work that she kept doing it until she got replaced by someone cheaper. Oh, mercy!

So she paced her three bedroom house -- bought with her novel's advance -- and felt so curiously lonely. Oh, angels of heaven!

No comfort, those tedious children, who lived on hamburger, popcorn, and oranges. Oh, fiends!

Then enter Salon, whose soul-starved readers hunger for such hand-wringing. Oh, plebs!

And finally our successfull writer can return to her savory meal. Oh, salvation!

For filling in the details. Here and elsewhere. It's really interesting to find out the extra tidbits about who these writers are, and where they are coming from!

In an earlier letter Cary advised a man to adjust to his woman screaming at him. Now he advises a man to accept a woman who beats him. Wonder what's next? Read this:

TRUE STORY

My friend tried to leave his wife of three years (and girlfriend of five) b/c she yelled and screamed. When he finally got the courage to leave she brought a shelf down on his head, broke his glasses, and gave him a black eye. He moved out that day even though he owned the house.

His wife then convinced him to return for a "discussion" -- which turned into another of her screaming sessions. She attacked him a second time. Escaping that assault he got a restraining order against her.

She then went to court and claimed she was a victim of spousal abuse. And you guessed it, my friend is a buff guy, he likes rock climbing, motorcycles, weightlifting, etc., and he's also dark skinned. His wife is petite and white. Well, guess who the female judge found guilty?

The judge rescinded his restraining order against her and put one against him. Then she ordered the cops to remove all of his posssessions from his new apt. and return them to his wife. And then she ordered alimony to be paid and granted his wife sole use of his house.

Now my friend's wife is suing him for a civil settlement for "abuse". She can not only make a windfall this way (he is a wealthy man) -- but she will also gain the sympathy of the court in their divorce proceedings if she is considered an "abused" woman.

So that is where Cary's advice will leave you.

-- The letter writer should RUN AWAY NOW and never look back.

-- And we should all ask why the American court system, Salon, and Cary Tennis do not take the physical abuse of a man seriously and instead assume that women are always the victim.