Oh, let us count the ways:

1. Health. "Debilitating depression" meant that my grandma soiled herself in bed for days on end. How silly of me to drag her to the psych ward, though, when I might have dispatched her for a grand tour of the continent -- with a lover or two thrown in for extra spice. But then she was just a country girl who worked her whole life and lived on social security. No doubt she wouldn't have tolerated authentic anti-pasti.

2. Job. What poor planning to have one. A beautiful person would never so encumber herself. Really, one ought to have a settlement from the last hubby to cover things until the next book deal falls into place.

3. Food. Each delicate dish one consumes is like a deeply scented rose, not merely eaten, no, but imbibed. And each thought one has about it? Perfume for the pedestrian masses. And here I am with my can of Dinty Moore stew having never considered the zen koan likely hidden inside.

4. Sex. Celibacy is a necessity for the beautiful person who wishes to clear one's head and ready herself for so many Brazilian lovers agitating at journey's end. Common folks, by contrast, merely copulate with whatever stray rogue might be at hand until they are utterly spent. Poor dears, who never really know pleasure for lack of self-restraint, it's a wonder they raise themselves each morning.

5. Salon. For the beautiful person Salon is an outlet, where her latest travelogue-cum-novel may descend upon the bitter little people who never get out, that idyllic prose and breathy thought like petals of a Wordsworth rose might inspire them to ...

What? Quit our jobs, divorce our spouses, pack on twenty pounds chowing down in Italy, and get it on with foreigners in South America?

What an ode to the self-indulgent American woman. Few females in all of time could pass their days sobbing on a bathroom floor, then travel abroad, and expect the world to embrace their musings as literature.

This is what's wrong with America, right here. Thanks once again to Salon for rubbing our noses in it.

I mean, shit, that was a manly way to go....

(Garr, ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!)

[/irony]

I mean, other than killing all the lawyers...

adopt

how about even just a punch line from her monologue

They overcharged billions. They will do the same in La.

Now as for Cheney's power, it's been obvious all along. This paperwork which he sees as a consolidationg of his power, however, can be his downfall. The longer the paper trail, the easier it is to catch the crook.

So you no longer feel like sex. This just gives you more time to work on world peace. Or whatever you do. Consider it a cosmic hint. There are plenty of guys your age who have lost interest also. Eventually you will find one. Good luck.

So long as gov. is co-opted by industry the particular system implemeneted to protect environment is irrelevant. Any system can be undermined. You need first and foremost a legitimate goverment to enforce the rules of the system. What do a few credits here and there matter when you will be selling the national forests?

The most important thing any environmentalist can do right now is work on transparency in government. Honest elections -- and honest government leaders -- have to preceed any fancier contraption of environmental management. Otherwise it's like trying to get Darth Vader to play by the rules. Not gonna happen.

Why does my health care insurance premium pay for any women's birth control pills? Why shouldn't she pay for that herself as part of the cost of having sex? How is this any different from buying a helmet when you ride a bike?

Further, birth control pills actually *cause* many health problems by messing with hormones. Why should a health insurer pay for something that makes the health of it's clients *worse* when there are other things that person could do instead?

Perhaps it makes sense to subsidize birth control as a social policy. But it is a direct transfer of wealth from men to women when it's paid for as part of a group health insurance plan.

Overall, this is just one more sexist policy which subsidize a woman's lifestyle at the expense of a man.

Anal. A gentleman should not settle for less.

Tyler, wtf, bus-sex is the hottest shit coming or goin'. Don't let your woman hold out on you. It's a frickin' conspiracy of these women to deny a man that. Just be all like, "We g.oing downtown, my fair lady ho" and then after you get her back there, lay that bitch down on the 5-across, you know the big ole' backseat that covers the aisle and both lanes and gets the biggest ba-dumpity bump, just like in high-school.

Don't miss out bro', I'm telling ya, the bus-itty bump is where it's at. And don't settle for no local ride, you want the downtown ecpress.

LOL

It's actually a pain in the ass to shoot fish in a barrel.

First of all, you're gonna get leaks in your barrel straight off. That's gonna ruin your fish.

Second, bullets don't travel well under water due to the coefficient of drag.

Finally, you're really gonna mess up the meat if you do get the fish.

But probably you're gonna miss.

So, here's a thought: Get a net.

P.S. 800's on SAT = 1600 if you add 'em up. He did use the plural there, smarty pants.

And nor will the poor. So, this relationship is headed for the dustbin.

On the upside, you've only known him four months. You're not exactly soulmates yet.

Oh... how maudlin.